It's a place all right.

February 3, 2016 (Originally posted on Tumblr)

2010 Old Song Thing Part 2/2

Here we go again, again. 2010 sure was a year once, here’s the second half of the music that was in it. Here’s the whole list too.

  1. Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah by Ke$blah and 3OH!3
    Ke Dollar Sign Ha is on the start of both of these halves. Go figure. I actually forgot how this one went. And now that I checked I can tell why I forgot. It either wasn’t played a billion times or it lacks something to really catch onto. You know, like a tune. And what is a 3OH!3? It’s like sometimes you can come up with artist names by smashing a keyboard into another keyboard. Or maybe it’s drugs. Or something that’s just a random chemical. Apparently it might be an area code. There you go. It’s like rap maybe.
  2. Bottoms Up by Trey Songzzzzzzzz and Nicki Minajjjjjjjjjjjjj
    FACE DOWN ASS UP THAT’S THE WAY I LIKE TO... “fup”? Well that’s how you get it to actually rhyme. I covered this, I have no need to re-cover it.
  3. Do You Remember by Jay Sean and Sean Paul and Lil Sean Jon
    I don’t remember this song. And I probably won’t later. But I remember Lil Jon and Sean Paul making a bunch of songs of some kind before though. You see MTV2 played nothing but rap and there was like a bootleg station that had MTV2 on it until I actually had satellite and could watch it without so much static. What was I talking about again? I forgot. Oh, this song. Not very memorable it seems. It’s some kind of sing rap thing. Lil Jon yells at least.
  4. All The Right Moves by OneRepublic
    It’s like this song is a song to pump you up because you have all the right moves and they’re going down! Except the exact complete opposite. So YOU are the one who will be going down. Non-sexually. For once. So it’s a song to make you really sad and confused or something. There’s a weird tune to it at least. If you play it in reverse, do you hear WE WILL ROCK YOU? Apparently according to random YouTube people you just get the Illuminati instead. Sure.
  5. According To You by Orianthi
    So for whatever reason they didn’t link a concert this time but it’s the making of some music video. I don’t really know why they needed that. The craziest thing they seem to do is put cameras on the guitars so it looks like Guitar Hero. There’s not much in the way of stunts or explosions or state of the art special effects where people have to talk to a tennis ball. The actual song, though, it sounds like those other songs I’ve heard. I don’t even really know where this Orianthi came from and how there’s like nothing else about them I think but maybe I’m wrong.
  6. My Chick Bad by Ludacris and Nicki Minaj
    He’s the magic man at the magic school who rescued 17 chickens one day. Yep this has another Bad Lip Reading for it. But there’s Bee Gees instead of Nicki Minaj. For some reason. But the actual song. Ludacris talks about how the girl he’s with is bad in multiple ways. Which is good somehow. That’s always been weird, the bad being good and such. Then Nicki Minaj talks about how she’s probably this bad chick. About all I can pick up. It’s a fair bit repetitive.
  7. You Belong With Me by Taylor Swift
    SHE WEARS SHORT SHORTS I WEAR SHORT SHORTS SHE’S CHEER CAPTAIN AND I AM SATAN. You belong to her apparently. Sign your soul over or something. And wear some short shorts. But really this might be one of Taylor Swift’s better songs. Was played a whole lot, yes, but not... too bad. I guess.
  8. Meet Me Halfway by Black Eyed Peas
    A single from The E.N.D. that I don’t really remember for some reason. So, yeah, this track’s actually pretty decent and compared to the other singles it’s a total step up. And it’s actually one whole consistent song throughout instead of randomly switching gears, too. Unlike... other certain songs that happened.
  9. Take It Off by Ke¥ha
    The issue with her being on so many spots on this list is I have to keep thinking of ways to spell the name. So why is she a robot singing that one exotic-sounding song that some random guy made up to sound exotic? I don’t know, but I still can’t get with this song.
  10. Over by Drake
    This is Drake, over. We got a possible rap song of some kind. Over. Apparently he is doing himself. Over. He raps. I know that’s a Kanye West thing but that’s just how I feel about rap videos sometimes. Over.
  11. Animal by Neon Trees
    So many songs about animals of some kind. Here we are again. Literally. This was on the last list. And I already forgot what it was between then and now.
  12. Misery by Maroon 5
    Adam Levine singing in that voice about women again. Women. Am I right? I don’t know. I’m not sure that he’s right. Maybe nobody is right and everything is an illusion. But I think I’d be better with funk rock stylings with other songs.
  13. Magic by B.O.B. and Rivers Cuomo
    How is the Earth round but it looks flat? It’s MAAAAAAAAAAAGIC! What is technology? It’s MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGIC! So therefore, the Earth is flat but government technology makes it round for no reason. Apparently. But this song’s not about that. It’s about the nerd-looking singer from Weezer singing what sounds like a messed up cover of Do You Believe In Magic that could be on a Shrek soundtrack and then becomes rap because the music industry. I’d say pretty average at best.
  14. Papa Paparazzi by Lady Papa
    Lady Gaga sings a weird song about the media or something with a message I can’t quite decipher and could be about something entirely unrelated. Stalkers maybe. And maybe weird fashionable medical equipment. It’s weird for the sake of weird.
  15. Tie Me Down by New Boyzzzzzz and “You Can Call Me” Ray J
    Was this actually ever popular? Apparently it was once but I can’t remember it ever showing up and this is like the first time I’m seeing this weirdness. It’s one of these rap-type singing songs. But it looks like low budget, but maybe 2010 CGI wasn’t that great. Or at least what it was for rappers in 2010. Also everyone’s way too autotuned to sound like singing. I don’t really get this.
  16. Your Love by Nicki “Lotta Boobs” Minaj
    So this clearly samples this “doo ba doo ba doot doot OHHHHHHHHHH” song from something. I found it and the video is hella 90s. So it’s that but with Nicki Minaj on top of it. I don’t really think it’s something I get with.
  17. Party In The USA by Miley Montana
    Before she became “extremely adult” she had a song about America parties. Like Schoolhouse Rock that talks about like political parties or something. But not really, this is just a regular party. Pretty much it. Not too bad but it’s like the weird period of music that’s extremely clean before the I’M GONNA BE NAKED ON CONSTRUCTION EQUIPMENT phase.
  18. Deuces by Chris Brown and Tyga and Kevin McCall
    I guess some could consider one of these rappers to be a big flaming deuce. Or singer. Whatever the hell you call Chris Brown, even a big flaming deuce if you wanna. This song’s not great. For all we know it’s about that girl he punched in the face a lot and is all like oh hey now it’s your fault I punched you in the face, my fist was moving and you put your face in it. Idiot. Yeah we’re getting close to when that whole thing happened. It’s the year before this one on the lists.
  19. 3 by Britney Spears
    HAHAHAHAHA A BRITNEY SONG IS AT NUMBER 69 GET IT 69 BECAUSE SEX. AND 3 DIVIDES INTO 69 AND ALSO 3 IS IN A THREESOME GET IT MORE SEX. Is this her trying to make a song for the kids to count by? I hope not. It also sounds like three songs jammed together. Or more like three random beats. And apparently everybody loves (RANDOM SEX NOISES). Sure. Just throw in some random moans and groans and farts in your song and that makes it better somehow. Also have everyone’s voices pitched either way too high or too low.
  20. Impossible by Shontelle
    Oh so that’s how you spell that name. Or maybe just one of a billion ways to spell it. Here’s some kind of anthem about possibling the impossible or something I guess. That’s all I could figure out.
  21. Forever by Drake and Kanye West and Lil Wayne and M&Ms
    Hey I know these people. This video has a BEATS BY DRE laptop going onto some video poker site. Is he a Twitch streamer who streams virtual gambling because people watch that for some reason? Also it’s just somehow about LeBron James because basketball. So pretty much a rap song. Where HE RAPS. And Kanye West is there this time. HE RAPS TOO.
  22. Two Is Better Than One by Boys Like Girls But Could Also Like Boys If They Want To You Know and Taylor Swift
    Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh no. Too sappy. I can’t get past that, sorry.
  23. My First Kiss by 303 and Ke₩ha
    I had to consult a page of currency symbols of the world for that one. I’m going to do that every time from now on she shows up on charts. Unless this is the last time. I don’t know. MY FIRST KISS WENT A LITTLE LIKE THIS. SOME STICK FIGURE EATS A HERSHEY KISS. FOREVER ALONE MEME FACE. SUBSCRIBE TO EPICMEMEJUNKFORT FOR MORE EPIC MEME JUNK. BANNED IN 11 STATES. WATERMARKED BY EBAUMS UNIVERSE AND COMPRESSED BY FACEBOOK. This is a really dumb song about kissing. Coming from guys who made a song about Helen Keller twerking, it’s to be expected. Also that one girl WHO IS ON EVERY SONG THIS LIST I SWEAR WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN.
  24. Already Gone by Kelly Clarkson
    Kelly Clarkson is persistent, I will give her that. Also I swear most of her songs have some element of “empowerment anthem” to them even if that’s not the focus. Must be the voice and persistence. But this song’s about breakups. Pretty much.
  25. Rock That Body by The Black Pee Eyes
    They want to rock right now. Obvious from that sample they play a whole bunch. Also everyone’s just stuck in some stable time loop for some reason. And there’s a chipmunk robot kid which may be Fergie after too much voice processing if the video is anything to go by. Not the worst song on The E.N.D. by a long shot at least. But it’s something that could actually work to dance somewhat to.
  26. Secrets by OneRepublic
    Why does AOL even exist these days? They don’t have their Internet thing, they barely have their chat thing, and these random concert videos keep popping up. Anyway I got tired of this song easily so yeah.
  27. Naturally by Selena Gomez and The Scene
    For some reason I keep thinking this had some parody that got played on things sometimes, like morning shows or something. I don’t know. If I try to look up a parody on YouTube it’ll probably just be a bunch of dumb videos. This one does sound Radio Disney-esque though. Whatever that sounds like. I never was able to listen to that as a kid, and for whatever reason maybe it only broadcasts on AM so everything sounds like static and angry Republicans and sometimes football. THE NEXT LIBERAL OUTRAGE: THIS NEW HIT SONG REFERS TO COMING AND GETTING “IT” AND FOR ALL WE KNOW “IT” IS TERRORISM. DID TERRORISTS CAUSE THE FUMBLE IN THE 4TH QUARTER? NO, IT WAS OBAMA, WORKING WITH INSIDERS TO HIDE THE FACT THAT THE EARTH IS ACTUALLY FLAT AND SURROUNDED BY CYCLOPS. But this song is pretty all right I guess. Especially for 2010 standards.
  28. Unthinkable (I’m Ready (Come And Get It (Nananana))) by Alicia Keys
    Well Alicia Keys can sing. That’s really all I can say about this because the rest is that it’s a slow song I can’t get with like usual and all that stuff.
  29. All I Do Is Win by DJ Khaled and a bunch of rappers who aren’t DJ Khaled that rap more
    So for reason it linked me to a remix. It has EVEN MORE RAPPERS. And DJ KHALED ACTUALLY RAPS SOME. On the non-remix though it’s the usual DJ KHALED WE THE BEST. But long story short, no matter how you look at it, it’s a lot of rappers, some with more flow than others, rapping about... something I guess. Rap? Rapping about rap. Sure. We’ll go with that.
  30. I Made It (Cash Money Heroes) by Kevin Rudolf the Singing Guy and a bunch of rappers also
    Going between this and the last one, is this some sort of weird version of Avengers vs. Justice League? But with rap stuff? Because it’s like singing verse, rapping verses, and so on. More rap about rap.
  31. Stuck Like Glue by Sugarland
    Country as heck. But not like hardcore country about tractor sex or whatever that one song was. It’s not bad I suppose. Like rap, I don’t have much to say about country.
  32. Hey Daddy (Daddy’s Home) by Urshur and Piles
    Hey, Daddy. Yes, Daddy? I’m Daddy. Okay. And then they merge into Superdaddy and dad jokes. Yes he does pronounce his name like URSHUR sometimes. And then this song has a lot of sticking girls butts up in the air and calling someone a dad. Why does a woman looking for a time of intimacy refer to the man they look to copulate with as “daddy”? Is there a complex Freudian underlay to this situation rooted in years long ago. Or is this just more singing R&B rap stuff that doesn’t make any sense to me?
  33. There Goes My Baby by URRRRSHURRRRRRRR
    This is the worst cover of a The Drifters song I’ve heard yet. Oh, wait, it’s not actually intended to be one but the name is the same, along with a million other songs apparently. The classic song is about a girl leaving and this new whatever it is has more of a thing about a girl being there and he’s trying to say what he feels and probably also have a lot of sex after they get the face-kissing out of the way.
  34. Today Was A Fairytale by Taylor Swift
    Holy hell this is clichéd. Also apparently this doesn’t have a video. Just way too sappy for me I guess.
  35. Say Something by Timbaland and Drake
    Why does it keep trying to give me rap concerts? Rap concerts are just a bunch of yelling usually. You know they have the microphone so you DON’T have to yell, right? As for the song I can’t exactly call this one remarkable, I kinda fell asleep a little and forgot it was on for a minute.
  36. Sweet Dreams by Beyonce
    Why is the intro like a weird horror movie? It’s just like Dreamweaver. No, really, that song starts out like a weird horror soundtrack and then the guy comes out of nowhere singing all like softly and it’s like WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE THIS IS A HORROR FILM. But here’s Beyonce doing her thing with her loud and aggressive singing, about how someone can be a good dream or a great nightmare. Is this what sweet dreams are made of? Beyonce seems to think so.
  37. Use Somebody by Kings of Leon
    Any time I hear this song I just always notice how when the guy sings the word “use” in the chorus it’s always on a way higher pitch than anything else. That’s about it. I got pretty sick of this song always being on. It sounds like it came from a commercial for the CW. What is even on that channel anyway? Like a million DC Comics shows and maybe some vampire thing? Does DC just somehow own the network or did the network buy the comics?
  38. Undo It by Carrie Underwood
    There was a bad relationship and now she wants to UH UH UH UH UH UH UH UH UH UH UH UH UH UH UH UNDO IT. NANANANANANANANANANANANA. COME ON KATAMARI. Hey some not bad country stuff I guess. You can sing along because if you can go UH UH UH or NA NA NA then you’re probably good.
  39. Eenie Meenie Miney Weenie by Sean “These Girls Make Me Want To Die” Kingston and Justin “I’m Running Out Of Joke Names” Whoever
    This song is bad. It’s so bad. And not in a redeemable bad like the Power Glove. This is just bad. Katy Perry’s Hot and Cold did this so much better. And that song’s only okay at best.
  40. Right Above It by Lil Wayne and Drake
    Does this one not have a video too? Did everyone just not have video budgets somehow? Once I thought these two rappers sounded the same but not exactly. Anyway this is more rap I don’t really think of.
  41. The House That Built Me by Miranda Lambert
    Get it? She didn’t make a house, a house made her. She is made of houses. She is a house. She built herself. And she went to her home house. It’s a song about remembering the house that is home. That’s about it.
  42. If I Die Young by The Band Perry
    I was kinda hoping this song might die young but no it ranked even higher on the list that followed. Great.
  43. The Only Exception by Paramore
    A pretty slow song. Exception not handled. Unhandled exception at this is a slow song. I still think Hayley Williams does well with her band.
  44. American Honey by Lady “Brain Joke” Antebellum
    Is this song about getting all of your honey from the US instead of importing it from China or whatever? Maybe secretly? But this isn’t a bad country song, I’ll give it that. Not extremely sappy and not bro country. Especially not bro country.
  45. King Of Anything by Sara Bareilles
    Didn’t Metallica make this song before? That one was better. This one’s not too bad though either. Also the way she says WHO DIED makes it sound like she’s about to say WHO DIED IN HERE, IT SMELLS LIKE ASS. OH, WAIT, THAT’S JUST YOU. YOU ARE THE ASS. YOU ASS. GIMME FUE GIMME FI GIMME DABAJABAZIIIIIIIIIIII OOOOOH.
  46. Life After You by Daughtry
    Here’s that Daughtry guy. Like I think I’d have probably more into the thing if it was more hard rock and stuff instead of the romance, but the ladies dig the romance, so, sure.
  47. Smile by Unkle Krakker
    I keep thinking this guy was a rapper. But he was more just with Kid Rock before and I guess that’s how I picked that up. No, like the opposite of a rapper. He made that song that goes FOLLOW ME EVERYTHING IS ALL RIGHT. I got pretty sick of this song but what does make me smile are big silly dogs with silly faces.
  48. Teach Me How To Dougie by Cali Swag District
    No. No. No. I will not teach you. Learn how to dance for real. If this song came out today it would be the number 1 hit on Vine where random people dance to songs wrong and think it’s cool and other people think it’s cool apparently and that somehow influences the chart. I would STILL take CRANK DAT SOULJA BOY DOT COM over this. YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
  49. Try Sleeping With A Broken Heart by Alicia Keys
    Alicia Keys still sings. That’s all I’ve got for now. The water at the beginning of the video looked pretty CGI so I was thinking it was going to turn into a weird CGI-fest like an Eiffel 65 video.
  50. Lover, Lover, Lover, Lover, Bueller by Jerrod Neimann
    What better way to bottom out the list with some random country song I haven’t heard. Sure. I don’t have much to say and I’m a bit tired and don’t wanna say much either, so it works out.
Okay, it’s over. Next it’s probably going to be a different thing to review: Super Bowl commercials. For the Super Bowl L. Super Bowlllllllll. And there’s inevitably going to be one of those GoDaddy things that says HEY LOOK GO TO OUR SITE FOR BOOOOOOOOOOOBS. And I’m actually going to have to pull one of those up as much as I just want to ignore them. After that, I guess more song lists. Maybe something foreign or something ancient, or both eventually. I also kinda wanna see Eurovision whenever that’s on but I don’t think I could review that. I have enough coherency issues when I review domestic-type songs. Live concerts with songs that might be in English or some language I may not have heard of and could have the most insane stage shows are beyond words.

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