It's a place all right.

March 18, 2016 (Originally posted on Tumblr)

2008 Song List Reviews: Second Bush Edition (2/2)

Even further down the list, hopes aren’t great, given what I remember. Also the economy was pretty dead at some point around this point, I forget when, but stuff happens all the time. Anyway, song list.

  1. What You Got by Colby O’Donis and Akon-47
    More of this sing R&B stuff. It keeps happening. Also I swear I saw this store in another music video. It’s probably some set they use a lot. Or somewhere in New York.
  2. It’s Not My Time by 3 Doors Down
    One of these songs that’s all like it has hard rock but then it wusses out and is all sappy for some reason. These annoy me a lot. It’s like actually rock out for a bit, you could be good at it, but they don’t.
  3. Better In Time by Leona “Dinner Money” Lewis
    She can sing, that’s good. Not a bad song. It’s kinda like one of those songs for uplifting and it could actually work in that.
  4. Crank That (Soulja Boy (Tell Em (Dot Com))) by Soulja Boy Tell Em Dot Com
  5. Shadow Of The Day by Lincoln Park
    Is this a song for the ladies? It’s Linkin Park without the yelling. Just the guy singing. This song’s so wimpy they had to have the video have a bunch of explosions and stuff to make it exciting or something.
  6. Sweetest Girl (Dollar Bill (Y’All)) by Wyclef Jean, Akron, Lil Wayne, and Niia
    Cash rules everything around me, CREAM get the money, dollar dollar bill y’all. Apparently this guy is some kind of spy who has to make sure this girl gets into some country. This song would probably be better in my opinion if the guy wasn’t so autotuned and maybe there wasn’t so much random rap stuff? I don’t know. It just kinda seems to go on for a while.
  7. Miss Independent by Ne-Yo Clarkson
    This song’s pretty persistently on the charts, and this isn’t even the Kelly Clarkson song.
  8. Fall For You by Secondhand Serenade
    So this is kinda like that 3 Doors Down song but the guy is whinier and even more of the song is sappy. That’s about it.
  9. In The Ayer by Florida and William
    Oh hot dayem this is my jayem keep the party into the ayem. Yeah. This is a really dumb and mindless club hit. That’s as much as it is.
  10. Say by John Mayer
    This is definitely a song from an emotional movie. In fact it is. The Bucket List. I never saw that. Anyway this guy could pretty much write up any song for any movie with any sad scenes in it or something. That’s about it.
  11. One Step At A Time by Jordin Sparks
    Is this a song about strutting? Maybe. Like it would just break into WE WILL ROCK YOU and have a bunch of stomping. Or Saturday Night Fever soundtracks. Stay alive with one step at a time or something.
  12. Hate That I Love You (Love That I Hate You (Love That I Love You (Hate That I Hate You))) by Rihanna and Ri-Yo
    This sounds a lot more like a song from Ne-Yo that Rihanna just happens to be on. So R&B type stuff.
  13. Superstar by Lupe Fiasco and Matthew Santos L Halper
    A rap song about stardom and stuff. That stuff can be pretty crazy. And this isn’t a bad rap by any means. Mainly because it’s actually saying something instead of BEING RICH IS THE BEST AND STRESS-FREE AND YOU HAVE ALL THE SEX and there’s a decent flow to it.
  14. Suffocate by J. Holiday
    Is this a song about smothering or the exact opposite of it? I’m not sure. It seems like a love song but it’s like also not? Like this girl is nice but maybe it’s too much and maybe it’s not enough? Now I’m just confused.
  15. Let It Rock by Kevin Rudolf the Lil Wayne Nosed Reindeer
    Just let it go. Or something.
  16. Get Like Me by David Banner and Chris Brown
    Hey did you ever hear the one about the Chevy with STUNTING IS A HABIT GET LIKE ME STUNTING IS A HABIT GET LIKE ME Okay but he didn’t finish the joke or whatever that was. This is definitely a rap. And then Chris Brown has to sing about it.
  17. Realize by Colbie Caillat
    I don’t think I really liked any of her songs. This is too slow and sappy for me.
  18. Put On by Young Jeezy and Kanye Westy
    In the future every city in America is a ghetto and the police arrest anyone for existing and people have like flags without colors, and this rapper will change everything apparently. Or maybe that was Obama. Maybe this rapper thought he was Obama. Maybe Kanye West thought he was already the new president. Also “one” dollar haircuts. Apparently in this future even numbers don’t make sense.
  19. The Time Of My Life by David Cook
    Apparently this was American Idol. That’s why I haven’t heard of this guy recently I think. That seems to happen. Like they’re popular and then they kinda just stop showing up? Except Kelly Clarkson. Who always shows up.
  20. Lolli Lolli (Pop That Body) by 3 6 Mafia and Project Pat and Young D and Superpower
    Apparently when filming the car parts in the green screen the camera was just constantly vibrating for no reason. Also apparently pink counts as a flavor, just like purple does as a fruit. Anyway here’s a rap song about girls dancing and about their butts probably.
  21. Cyclone by Baby Bash and T-Pain
    Apparently this girl moves like a cyclone which means she moves really fast in a circle and is just constantly spinning really fast and vomiting everywhere from getting dizzy or something. That somehow turns him on. I guess it’s some kind of thing. Also butts.
  22. Love Like This by Natasha Bedingfield and Sean Kingston
    Here’s a lady that sings and some other guy that also sings. A song about love of some kind. Hopefully not the kind that makes that guy want to die like in that other song he made. Also there may be a slight bit of autotune randomly. I’m not sure, maybe the video is just in like early 2000 quality.
  23. Burnin’ Up by the Brothers Jonas
    Totally Disney-caliber pop rock here. That’s what they were like together. Apart, they... did other stuff. One of them went on to make a band that made a song that was about eating cake like sex, or sex like eating cake, one of those.
  24. Love Lockdown by Kanye West
    He’ll keep the love locked down or something. You lose. YOU LOSE YOU BIG LOSER.
  25. I-Luv-Ur-Gurl by The-Dream
    Okay why does this open about some random stuff about America? Like Obama and Hillary and blowing up Osama or something. Then it becomes a more regular song about probably wanting a lot of sex with this woman.
  26. Crush by David Archuleta
    When I thought of this song I thought of another song that came out in the 90s that I remember mentioning the word crush and having some synthesizer business. Not this dude singing about things in some kind of song I can’t really get down to.
  27. Hypnotized by Pliers and Akon
    A song about a rapper who’s hypnotized by the bouncing of butts and boobs. That happens. There’s just some really bouncy assets at play here. Did they ever make a song about someone who’s hypnotized by the flopping of a man sausage? Is that Sexy And I Know It?
  28. Big Girls Don’t Cry by Fergie
    Apparently they don’t. Or they’re not supposed to or something. Just a slow song about breaking up I guess.
  29. Good Life by Kanye West and T-Pain
    Kanye West tries to describe what a good life is. Kinda ends up being like what you see in rap videos about being somewhere with money and girls. And T-Pain is there like he often was in this time. Kanye also names more locations than your average Pitbull song. Which mainly centers around Miami but still.
  30. Womanizer by Britney Spears
    WOMANIZER 5000 LASER ACTIVATE PEW PEW LASERS. Yeah this was on the other list already so this’d be redundant.
  31. Love Story by Taylor Swift
    It’s a love story, where Romeo and Juliet died a lot. Again. This charted way higher on the next year’s list so probably a late entry into this year.
  32. Just Fine by Mary J Blige
    Apparently the backing music she’s singing over makes her want to WHOOOOOO. And then she sings. With laser fingers. A pretty high-energy jam about being fine and happy and all. Or “joint” as she refers to it in the song. The joint that makes her WHOOOOOOO.
  33. Piece Of Me by Britney Spears
    This song has a sample of what sounds like a chicken having an orgasm. Maybe it’s about some really good KFC. And she’s the bucket. And also a robot maybe. Robot Chicken? Also the media is bad even though this is also media or something.
  34. The Boss by Rick Ross The Boss and T-Pain The Also Boss
    Wait so apparently Rick Ross has a gold chain of his own face? Okay. It’s kinda like wearing a shirt of your band name to one of your own concerts with that band. So like the Wiggles I guess? Also why is the backing beat featuring this weird chipmunk choir of some kind? I won’t ask why T-Pain is there, though, he’s just anywhere really. LIKE A BAUS. Did you know LIKE A BOSS was a song before it was a song? There was legit a song called that which the new one was based on at least in parody and repeating the line LIKE A BOSS repeatedly. And it has a video of a really close up rapper mouth, like he’s eating the camera. Is that why rappers had grill bling? So they could eat cameras?
  35. All Summer Long by Kid Rock
    His name is KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID KID ROCK. And he’s here to BOMB WITH THE BOMB AND BANGARANG YO SKRILL DROP IT HARD or something. Except not really. This is more of a country rock song that’s not a lot of screaming. Which somehow takes from Sweet Home Alabama and Werewolves of London at the same time. Definitely a different side than the time when he’s just yelling a lot.
  36. Can’t Help But Wait by Trey Songzzzzzzz
    Yep, more R&B jams. Of some kind. That I can’t really figure out since I’m not quite who they’re looking for here I guess.
  37. In Love With A Girl by Gavin DeGraw
    I DON’T WANNA BE ANYTHING ANYTHING OTHER THINGS SOMETHING. Wait, this is the other song. Which sounds kinda similar in structure. It’s like it seems like country but it’s not and it’s also rock somehow but not entirely and the guy looks like that one guy from some other band of people. Or at a certain weird angle, Wayne of Wayne’s World.
  38. My Life by The Game and Lil Wayne
    You just lost it. Sorry. Had to. Only time I’ll reference that. Anyway. Lil Wayne is way too autotuned. I remember when this guy had rap songs. Maybe he still does, I don’t know, I’m not the most knowledgeable of rap stuff.
  39. I Remember by Keyshia Cole
    Slow jams. This time a woman sings instead of Ne-Yo or Usher or whoever else usually seems to do that. She can sure sing, though, that’s good.
  40. Flashing Lights by Kanye West and Dwele
    I know what you may be thinking after hearing about All Of The Lights, and, no, this video didn’t have to put up a seizure warning for having random pointless flashing colors constantly for no real reason. However they did feel the need to put some kind of graphic nature warning on the video about how the network doesn’t want to murder people probably and it’s just art or something. Mainly, though, this lady removes most of her clothes, burns them, and stabs some guy in the trunk of some car with a shovel that was also in the trunk. As for Kanye? HE RAPS.
  41. Mrs. Officer by Lil Wayne and Bobby Valentino and Kidd Kidd Kidd Kidd Kidd
    A song about hitting on cops? And then consequently having sex with them? This is confusing as a rap song. Normally they want to F the police, but not quite “F” the police like this. I think there were some mixed messages here.
  42. 7 Things by Hannah Miley Montana Cyrus
    All right, let’s count the “things” she lists here. Vanity, the “games”, insecurity, how he loves her (?) but likes someone else (?), making her laugh, making her cry, jerk friends, acting like a jerk himself, and making her love him. This is a really incoherent list. Also there’s like 9-10 things here. As for the other list, there’s 8 maybe. One of which is pants.
  43. You’re Gonna Miss This by Trace Atkins
    Some kinda song about growing up. Country stuff. Punk kids not knowing how good they got it even though like there’s stuff they can do on their own too, and don’t go too fast and things. It’s some kind of lesson. And it doesn’t involve sexy tractors either.
  44. Love Remains The Same by Gavin Rossdale
    This guy sings a sappy sort of song. And his name’s like three names. Why do so many singers have the name Gavin? Okay, maybe just two that I know of, but maybe there’s more.
  45. Feels Like Tonight by Daughtry
    And it feels like this song is for the ladies at prom probably. Seriously, these guys could totally rock but they went for softer rock. Talent, yes, but not my type of music here.
  46. The Way I Are by Timbaland and Keri Hilson
    This guy are sick. What it is. And I’m pretty sure that Timbaland has money and a car and can get flowers. But I guess this is characterization. Like that song with Pitbull about not paying the rent and having a party instead. And this rapper might not motorboat but can float a boat. Can he motorboat the floats?
  47. Addicted by Saving Abel
    I found another rock song. It’s about this guy who really wants sex with this lady. A lot. Maybe multiple going by the video. That’s really what I got here. Unless it’s secretly about drugs? Nope. Sex. Tends to be one or the other, sometimes both, and sometimes even neither.
  48. Into The Night by Santana and Chad Kroeger
    Here’s a question for you. So suppose you don’t like Nickelback, maybe for the lead guy but maybe there’s other reasons, but you like Santana, so what happens when you put the lead guy from Nickelback as the singer on a Santana jam? This. Apparently. Now how’s someone gonna respond to this? Well at the very least Santana jams hard like he does. The weird thing though is that he collaborates with so many singers so this could have happened with another singer as well. I consider this song all right. Also I can tolerate this guy called... Chad. Apparently. LOOKADIS PHOTOGRAPH.
  49. Heaven Sent by Keyshia Cole
    She can still sure sing, and this is still sure a slow jam. That’s all I got here.
  50. She Got It by 2 Pistols and T-Pain and Tay Dizm
    And the last song on this list that marked the end of the reign of the second Bush and beginning of Obama’s is... some kinda rap song. Featuring 2 Chainz’s more gun-like version 2 Pistols. Yep. This is sure a rap.
Okay, that’s it for this list. There’s two more to go on Billboard’s actual site and then I’m free. Maybe. Though I’ll probably make myself end up doing more. Maybe random years in the 80s. Or the earliest ever charts of like really old songs. We’ll see. For now, there’s 2007 and 2006 left. Can I do this? Probably.

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