It's a place all right.

September 27, 2016 (Originally posted on Blogger)

Katy Prism's PERRY, Wait, I Meant Katy Perry's PRISON, Or Was It The Katy Perry Side Of The Moon, Never Mind, Anyway It's A Bunch Of Songs


So I was thinking, hey, what's a CGI movie coming out. That one with the troll dolls that they somehow made even weirder? And what's the soundtrack, can I review that as songs itself? It's just mostly covers and I guess the movie is just a big dance fest or something. Okay, what comes up if I look for soundtracks in general. Undertale? That's on here? I could review all 100-or-so songs without context, but... I think context is probably important for that one. Without, it's pretty much a bunch of decent to good chiptunes with insane hype behind it. Guardians of the Galaxy? It's mostly an oldies greatest hits collection, but I do like a bunch of the songs. Just you wait until I get back to some way past years and their year-end lists.

Long story short I was just going over random albums I got for free off Google Play and found this one. Yay. I don't think I got this for any other reason aside from "it was free".



I know some of these songs charted before, so I might be retreading something, but it's been a while since, so yeah, just rolling with it.
  1. Roar
    This is the Eye of the Tiger except more boring. Rocky would win if he played this at the opponent hard enough, they'd just be like, no, I'm done, just punch my nads a lot so I can leave or however boxing works, I don't really watch any of that. Also her tiger is called Kitty Purry. Could have just gone with Meowface Meowington.
  2. Legendary Lovers
    Some kind of quasi-Egyptian/Indian/generally foreign backing track. Or at least one instrument of it. And then suddenly start singing really fast, way to just cram in words in the mood. It's better than Roar at least, I guess. But that's not too much improvement.
  3. Birthday
    ALL I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY IS A BIG BOOTY HOE. BURY ME INSIDE A STORE SO I CAN HAUNT IT. BIRTHDAY SEX. BIRTH. DAY. SEX. AND WE DON'T EVEN GIVE A FART IT'S NOT YOUR BIRTHDAY. Yeah it's a song about just getting naked and having sex. And her "big balloons". Generously describing her breasts. If you remove all the code words it's LET'S HAVE SEX AND YOU CAN PUT ALL OF YOU ON MY BOOBS.
  4. Walking On Air
    This starts off like some 90s club jam and might just as well sample one, but it doesn't really sound like it from the rest of it. Close, though. Maybe. Not too bad I guess. But could stand to be more raw to better match the 90s.
  5. Unconditionally
    Uncun Dishun Alee. Yeah, don't like this one, way too clumsy and trying too hard. Extreme clich├ęs everywhere. Then again that's not unfamiliar territory here.
  6. Dark Horse
    OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Says some tiny baby. And there's a rapper here. And there was a version that plays in white people stores and radio channels that removes the rap parts. So it sounds weirdly empty. Well, emptier. Whatever the word "vapid" means. Like it's a vapor of a song. But not like vaporwave. But anyway he got addicteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed.
  7. This Is How We Do
    If Walking On Air was a hot 90s club jam, this is a dull 2010s quasi-EDM sleepfest. If you want to have a slumber party and get right to the slumber, put on music like this. Robotic singing in the not good way, generic genericism throughout, and yeah. This song really is no big deal. No, don't bring the beat back. Just leave it. Go away.
  8. International Smile
    So international it goes from a city to a country to a city. I guess. Not very exciting for a world trip.
  9. Ghost
    A ghost of a song, if anything. Modern pop I guess. There's songs involving ghosts that are better, there's bands named after ghosts that are better, one in particular you should check out is Ghost if you're a fan of classic metal style or just generally cool stuff. I had to actually break here to listen to some of that because I thought of them and yeah.
  10. Love Me
    Nah. But I can kinda tolerate songs from her. This one not so much.
  11. This Moment
    Some moment this is, just sounds like another song I guess.
  12. Double Rainbow
    ALLLLLLLL THE WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY to the trash. Way to meme it up and make a song that's not too great. Also 2016's memes pretty much suck, but what's really new with memes anyway, they've always kinda been annoying. You know Vine? Yeah. There's a worse version of Vine now apparently.
  13. By The Grace Of God
    Is this suddenly a Christian album? Or is that just a deer on my lawn? And that's a horse ranch. No, it just sounds like the MTV Live Sessions of some thing she covered if this was a cover. Yep. Not too well.
Okay so what I learned by looking over this album I grabbed for free (legally, probably, if whatever Google Play does is fine that way) is that I'm not much of a fan of Katy Perry. So, yeah, that would explain most of my reaction. Some okay stuff but honestly it's not my dig. I'd have to say my top unironic pick would be Walking On Air, but that's just a bit over average. And all I wanted to do was just make fun of and possibly find gems in CGI movie soundtracks again. I'll have to do that later, apparently.

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