2016 Year End Song List Recrap (Part 2 of 2)
Remember this list? Or this one which is the same? Well here we go with the next part. Let's get this overwith.
- Into You by Ariana Grande Canyone
This song gets louder and LOUDER AND LOUDER as it goes. I guess that's one way for buildup.
- Goold by Kiiara
SHE'S SPEAKING IN TONGUES no wait she's fine now I think. NO WAIT SHE'S DEFINITELY POSSESSED. If you play this song backwards is it about the Bible? Also bite your fillings out? Like how do you put your mouth in the other mouth, that's more than a kiss would be.
- Exchange by Tyson Briller
Yeah it's a song. Exchange something for something. Exchange money for goods or services like get some good albums or something.
- 679 by Fetty Wap and Remy Boyzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
679 is an area code that doesn't exist yet but it's also his birthday compressed into a weird format. It's also a rap song. Because of course it is.
- Oui Oui Baguette by Jeremih
I just realized, is his name actually supposed to be Jeremy? No that's just actually his name. So the first part of the song is just robot sex. RO. BOT. SEX. And then it became BIRTH. DAY. OUI. OUI. OUI. SEX. SEX. SEX. SEX.
- Hands To Myself by Selena Gomer
She's getting grabby. And whispery.
- 2 Phones by Kevin Phones
I GOT TWO PHONES ONE IS A PHONE THE OTHER IS ALSO A PHONE. I GOT TWO PHONES I TAPE THEM TOGETHER INTO A SUPERPHONE. I GOT TWO PHONES ONE IS AN ANDROID THE OTHER IS ALSO AN ANDROID. I GOT TWO PHONES I'M GOING TO CALL ONE PHONE WITH THE OTHER PHONE. I GOT TWO PHONES ONE HAS SUPER MARIO RUN AND THE OTHER HAS A CHEAP BOOTLEG WITH VIRUS ADS. I GOT TWO PHONES ONE IS A BRICK FROM THE 80S AND THE OTHER IS SOME FUTURE PLEXIGLASS THING.
- Starboy by The Weekend Starboy and Daft Starboy
He's a motherfucking Starboy. Whatever that means. He goes to space I guess. And swings around glowsticks. Hahahahahahahaha. He laughs at you, for he is in space and you are not.
- For Free by DJ KHALED WE THE BEST and Drake He's Somebody I Guess
DJ Khaled songs. Where it sounds more like he's the guest artist in the rap. And Drake is there I guess because he's everywhere. The only one more everywhere is still Thomas.
- Never Be Like You by Flume and Kai
The backing track sounds like someone jingling keys in front of a Justin Timberlake song. Or more rather a Timbaland song since he's usually the producer. And then some lady sings. I guess that works.
- In The Night by The Wkend
This is a bit groovy. The video is too weird though. It's weird for the sake of weird. It's Po-Mo. Post-Modern. The one for False Alarm AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH is very weird, like you're Call of Duty. I don't know, if you want to hear the songs, maybe hear the songs and don't pull up the videos unless you wanna see stuff go down which interrupts things.
- Me Too by Meghan Toonor
Because the one song a lady who made some anthem about body shape needed was some bragging rap song. Make like the last song of hers on here and NO GO AWAY.
- Ex's and Oh's by Elle King
A good song. This should be much higher. Like way higher. Even if it's higher on here than it was on the last list, yes this was on the last list and stuck around, so it's good and it's actually good too. I will rewrite the universe and alter this list to be better. More of these jams. Even her track on the New Ghostbusters soundtrack was great. Not to mention she also covered My Neck My Back at some point, yes that song about licking the pussy and crack.
- Die A Happy Man by Thomas Rhett
Here's another of the few country songs on here. Of course ones that are less bad are more toward the bottom for some reason. Well if you just consider the whole bro country thing the worst then it's easy to compare. At least this isn't totally that.
- White Iverson by Post Malone
Yep, sounds like Autotune sing rap. Also who is this guy.
- Close by Nick Jonas and Tove Lo
He sounds whiny. I think I like DNCE better.
- Unsteady by X Ambassadors
It's like slow but not awful? I don't really know. Slow can be nice sometimes.
- Sucker For Pain by Too Many Rappers
Yeah, when you need a rap track for the Suicide Squad album, just get all the rappers at the same time. I guess. And then Imagine Dragons for some reason. I still don't know what this is.
- Down In The DM by Yo Gotti and Nicki Minaji
OH HOT DM THIS IS MY GM KEEP A PARTY INTO THE AM. He's down there. With his penis pictures. From down there. It's rap.
- Luv by Tory Lanezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Autotuned singing rap again? Gee what a surprise.
- Sorryonce by Beyonce
She's either sorry or making you feel sorry. Knowing her it's the latter. Also she made some lemonade. It's also a video. Her album is a movie documentary.
- Can't Feel My Face by The Facend
He still can't feel his face. It's because he secretly has no face and is a robot without a face. But he has eyes. They're eyes without a face. Eyeballs just floating in space.
- Hymn For The Weeknd by Coldplay
If you wanted Coldplay to make modern R&B for some reason I guess this is what happens.
- Say It by Toryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy Lanezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
R&B sing modern thing I've heard a lot but maybe not this specific one.
- Antidote by Travis Scott
There's so many of these songs where are they all coming from. It's like nobody cares that they can't sing well anymore, just run it through a robot's ass.
- Lost Boy by Ruth B
Not awful but it's soooooo slow.
- Side To Side by Ariane Granda and Nickj Minai
Not slow but it's not great either. Then Nicki Minaj is there. I I I I I I I I I I I I. HORSE RANCH. BOOOOOOOOOOOBS.
- Sit Still Look Pretty Sleep Lots Fart Harder by Daya
Wanting to do more than just those things. Like actually doing things. Like making some kinda song. So then she did.
- Wildest Dreams by Taylor Swift
More like craziest nightmares because she goes hard on exes. But not the ohs. She haunts them like a ghost. So she would seem.
- Middle by DJ Snake and Bipolar Sunshine
Sounds like something DJ Snake made in a sorta EDM category. It's between funky and very typical.
- On My Mind by Ellie Goulding
I GOT YOU ON MY MIND AND I AM A ROBOT BEEP BOOP BOOBS Dadadadadadada? HEY MACARENA. FUCK MACARENA.
- Pop Style by Drake and The Throne
OPPA POP STYLE DON'T LET ME INTO MY THRONE. Drake is so falling asleep even the music here is falling asleep.
- When We Were Young by Adele
Adele takes on the Killers but not really. ONCE SHE WAS 7 YEARS OLD BUT NOW SHE'S WHATEVER AGE SHE IS.
- Hide Away by Dayaway
Punch the Casio for hardcore beatzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Beats by Dr. Casio. Beats Pill by Dr. Mario.
- Lean On by Major Lazer and DJ Snake and Modus Operandi
Someone to lean on who makes windshield wiper sound effects with a weird singing keyboard thing. Is he trying to come alive with his singing keyboard like Frampton did back in the vinyl years?
- I Know What You Did Last Summer by Shawn Blart Mendes Cop and Camila Cabello
Because The Weeknd did The Hills Have Eyes, this guy and some girl covered another horror sort of film. And made it sound not like a horror film. This is some kind of duet. They should have a duel instead, fight over stuff.
- All The Way Up by Fat Joe and REM
Wait, it's not REM, it's some rapper named Rem. Or maybe the formatting's just broken on this garbage website and it's supposed to be Remy Ma going by the video. Plus there's two other rappers. Anyway it's Fat Joe with his big buttcrack full of crack cocaine. When he farts it's like a snowstorm.
- Watch Me by Shut The Fuck Up
Watch this be forgotten very soon. Throw it in the trash. That one song from like the 90s or something where the guy talks about Charlie Brown is still somehow better, and it's literally a list of instructions you could probably build a foreign-sounding couch with.
- Back To Sleep by Chris Brown
More like... I can't think of a joke this is just dull. Unless he's talking about roofies in which case just leave.
- No Limit by Usher and Young Thug
I don't know how thug-like I'd consider Usher. But he's still going apparently.
- Cut It by OT Sega Genesis and Young Dolphin
THE RENT IS TOO DAMN HIGH YOU NEED TO CUT IT. THIS CRACK COCAINE YOU NEED TO CUT IT. THIS LAST RESORT YOU NEED TO CUT MY LIFE INTO PIECES. But yeah it's rap. Not about drugs so blatantly but probably still.
- Really Really Really Really Really Really Really Really Really Really Really by Kevin Gates
Really really really really really really really really really wanna zigazag UUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. If only the Spice Girls were on this track. Scary Spice who likes to eat your face just because she can. SEND YOUR MOMMY DOWN, BODIES ALL AROUND.
- All In My Head (Flex (In A No Flexing Zone)) by Fetty Harmony and Fifth Wap
Is this the Baywatch Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Episode? They're singing and stuff. About flexing. But they're not like RIPPED WITH A 20-PACK AND HUGE QUADRICEPS WITH THEIR OWN BICEPS, just in bikinis and stuff. Then some rapper is there because that makes this a real song.
- Starving by Hailee Seinfeld and Grey and Zedd
This isn't a charity song, it's just about sex probably. And squeaking noises with synths which I think are supposed to be samples.
- Adventure Of A Lifetime by Coldplay
A weirdly funky backing track for however these guys sing. Sounds adventurous maybe.
- Humble And Kind by Tim McGraw
Not a lot of country on this list. Maybe all the other country types were too busy being conservatives. Anyway here's something sappy.
- Wicked by Future
WIGGY WIGGY WEO WEO WAYO WAYO WEEEOOO WEEEEEEOOOO WEEEEEEEEOOOOOO. And stop throwing money at the TV it doesn't work that way. That's done as a joke. Also there's gratuitous buttage. This video needs more floating heads with too many faces.
- Tiimmy Tuurneer by Deesiigneer
I have nothing else to say about this song. I said all I could back at Panda.
- See You Again by Wiz Khalifa and Charlie Poooooooooooooooth
I guess we saw this again. But not for much longer.
- Perfect by One Direction
No, not perfect, go away.
Okay that's the list done just make this go away and next I'll do a better year of songs. At least several which have stood the test of time. Some say next year might have better music, it might, with some current tracks, or it might be worse, who knows. At least there's other songs.