It's a place all right.

January 1, 2017 (Originally posted on Blogger)

1986 Year End List Review Thing: 80s Songs Or Something (1/2)

Well, here we go again, this time looking at a list from the 80s. There's gonna be a lot of synthesizers.

  1. That's What Friends Are For by Dionne and Friends
    So some kinda supergroup happened at this point apparently where Dionne Warwick, Gladys Knight, Elton John, and Stevie Wonder did a thing. A thing for AIDS apparently. So this is one of those benefit song things. Back when they didn't need to bring in like a billion people to record one line as if it was some kinda modern rap album and then have it end up being more of a waste of money than they ever raised because honestly these benefit song things are way played out and weren't typically very good. Like they'd talk about how the entirety of Africa was just a bunch of villages with starving children and forget how there's things like big cities and tourism and pyramids as well, plus a whole lot of wilderness. But at least this song is just more of a remake of an existing one that's just a whole happy friendship thing and not all doom and gloom and outdated in a month. So, see, if you wanna raise charity money with songs, don't blow the budget all to hell and make a decent track like this.
  2. Say You Say Me Say Everybody Say Nobody by Lionel Richie
    Whatever year it is, you can't escape slow songs. The instruments sound more painful but the singer sounds pretty good, at least. You've probably heard this in some romantic context.
  3. I Miss You by Klymaxxxxxxxxxx
    Did I pull up the 1996 list again or are there just a ton of slow jams in this year, too?
  4. On My Own by Patti Labelle and Michael McDonalds
    It's kind of a duet I guess. I don't know.
  5. Broken Wings by Mr. Mr. Mister Mr. Mister SeƱor Senior Jr. Sr. Mister
    Here's a pretty 80s song, extreme presentation and everything. Plenty of synth. I've just heard this one a lot so I don't really know what to think of it now, it's kinda just there.
  6. How Will I Know by Whitney Houston
    This video is definitely from the 80s. The walls are just like splatter paper and people dance somehow. The song sure is too. Whatever you'd think of for the 80s, here it is in one package. Unless you find Automatic Man to be much more fitting.
  7. Party All The Time by Eddie Murphy
    His girl sure wants to. And so does the African Detroit Cop. You might have to look that one up if you haven't been on the Internet a lot. It's something you might hear at parties.
  8. Burning Heart by Survivor
    Wow this is some serious 80s stuff. Rocky was sure a thing after all. Run up a lot of stairs then punch dudes. So was Rambo, but that was more shoot dudes instead.
  9. Kyrie by Mr. Mister Misterer Misterest
    First I had no idea what he was singing and just saying noises, but then I thought it was a name, and apparently it's actually some foreign language saying. This guy did a lot.
  10. Addicted To Love by Robert Palmer
    You might as well face it. The rock girls in this video look bored. They don't seem to dance, they just do the rock away. Lean back. Act like they're not playing the guitar or something.
  11. Greatest Love Of All by Whitney Houston
    Yep it's a slow singing song about love and stuff. Not sure what else you'd expect.
  12. Secret Lovers by Atlantic Starrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
    It's another slow jam. But this time it's super secret I guess. Sure. All right.
  13. Friends And Lovers by Gloria Loriaing and Carl Arlnderson
  14. Glory Of Love by Peter Et Cetera
    In this final song of this random quintilogy (?) of songs that have "love" in the name, it's this. At least it's got a lot of 80s to it this time. So much synth stuff for some reason.
  15. West End Girls by Pet Shop "East End" Boys
    An 80s synth pop hit to walk down the road to, I guess. This guy drops some dope mad rhymes in this gangsta beat. Or something. Rapping is talking in a song, but is talking in a song always rapping? I'd like to think so. They also just like to stare at nothing really unless it's the camera.
  16. There'll Be Sad Songs (To Make You Cry (And Maybe Just Want To Sleep)) by "Skeet So Much They Call Him" Billy Ocean
    Some kinda ballad. I guess. This guy made way more 80s songs. Ones where you could get tough and get into a car.
  17. Alive And Kicking by Simple Minds
    I never really knew what these guys were singing. This is just a song I'd figure in the background of any time in the 80s. Kinda just there.
  18. Never by Heart
    80s hair metal is pretty great. I'm not sure of the ratio of metal here, but they sure have all the hair. Hair back then was an interesting topic. Just do whatever with it. But probably go for volume. Anyway this song's all right.
  19. Kiss by The Artist Known As Prince And The Revolution At This Time
    I WANNA ROCK AND ROLL ALL NIGHT oh wait the song's called Kiss not the band. It's pretty much Prince wanting to make out with the ladies. With seduction and all that stuff too. He certainly had... symbols.
  20. Higher Love by Steve Winwood
    A love so high you'd join the Mile High Club? Or a love so "high" you'd be in outer space? I only remember one part of this song and it's the chorus, the rest is kinda just there. Bringing him a higher love. Pretty much. Weird how the hook works and brings you back and stuff.
  21. Stuck With You by Huey Lewis And The News
    Well, a weird video that has what is probably Huey Lewis with some lady in some kinda movie, some shark almost bites his crotch and then they're on an island or something. It's an adult contemporary-ish rock sort of deal here. It's not that video where he sticks his head in the sink but there's a bunch of water.
  22. Holding Back The Years by Simply Red
    This guy sure has 80s hair. Also it's a slow sort of song but it's not the worst kind. I'm also not sure what the best kind is. So there's that to consider.
  23. Sledgehammer by Peter Gabriel
    Peter Gabriel videos can sure be weird. As well as the accompanying songs. Here's like his head being all stop motion and twitching around all over the place like some horror movie would do these days. And the song is sure an iconic 80s hit. He's not electrocuting monkeys but he can be anything between a train and a hammer or something.
  24. Sara by Starship Minus Jefferson
    Well, this is a song, I guess. Can't think I've heard this one before. Or I forgot I did. Also some weird stuff happened with how the Starship became less of a Jefferson one. And at one point I think they were an airplane.
  25. Human by The Human League Of Humans
    There's sure a lot of water in this video. And it's just a song that is just a part of the 80s. I keep forgetting it's there but when I hear it I kinda remember it but then I don't.
  26. I Can't Wait by Nu Shooz
    OH OH OH OH OH OH OH OH OH OH OH OH OH OH OH OH OH OH OH OH OH OH OH OH OH OH OH OH OH OH OH OH OH OH OH OH OH OH OH OH OH OH OH OH. Yeah it's that song with the synthesizer making noises. No, not the other billion 80s songs that do that, but you know. And no, DJ Snake came later on. Also the video just looks like a cross between Home Improvement and Bill Nye. But there's this lady fixing a pot or something. I don't know what this has to do with shoes.
  27. Take My Breath Away by Berlin
    Some kinda romance song for Top Gun for its romance sequences that distract people from how homoerotic it can get. Also there's the planes. I'm still not sure what Top Gun was really supposed to be about. As well there's a lack of Top Gun Xtreme Beach Volleyball as far as games go. It'd be like the best development in pants bulge jiggle physics.
  28. Rock Me Amadeus by Falco
    Personally I prefer the air, and then he gets in a tank anyway. But this is a different Falco. And this is hella 80s. And it's also somehow kinda inspired by the weird movie Amadeus in some way. I was thinking maybe it'd be in the movie because that movie is apparently pretty weird. And then The Bloodhound Gang kinda sampled this song for an even weirder song about I don't know. But Pac-Man shows up in it and is on drugs. And Homer is there.
  29. Papa Don't Preach by Madonna
    Apparently this song got her in a fight with a Pope? Something like that. Getting knocked up in some date and then maybe having to get with the guy and the dad gets all mad and stuff and she's like well screw you it's my kid. I guess that might cause problems with the Vatican, whatever kind of country that is, even if she's saying she's gonna keep the baby in the song which you'd think is what they'd want? I don't know.
  30. You Give Love A Bad Name by Bon Jovi
    Here's a loud song. Getting blamed for shooting someone in the chest proverbially and making love sound bad. Like a lot of those other breakup songs but this one has Bon Jovi.
  31. When The Going Gets Tough, The Tough Get Going by Billy "Not Frank" Ocean
    This is a weird song. They start screaming TOUGH a lot and then some guys grunt into a synthesizer and then it just sounds like an 80s song. Does this count as a jock jam?
  32. When I Think Of You by Janet Jackson
    A song someone can dance to and have it not really be a slow dance. Not bad here. Also a weird street in the video that looks like it's from some musical.
  33. These Dreams (Are Made Of Sweet) by Heart
    Hair metal with the ladies. Does this count as a power ballad? A lot of synth in it to, but this is the 80s.
  34. Don't Forget Me (When I'm Gone) by Glass Tiger
    I've heard this song but don't really know about the band. I probably just assumed it was by one of the 80s bands I'd have heard of because it sounds kinda like a lot of the others. It's all right and sounds like it was in some 80s movies with some young adult hangouts and whatever.
  35. Live To Tell by Madonna
    Madonna sings some kinda slow song. I guess that's about it. At least she doesn't rap in this one.
  36. Mad About You by Belinda Carlisle
    She's crazy about someone and someone's crazy about her. Then it became a show on NBC in the 90s or something. I forget what it was about.
  37. Something About You by Level 42
    No they didn't forget the lyrics to Mad About You, this is another song entirely. Again, sounds like Some 80s Band From The 80s which I attribute most of the songs from the 80s that I don't know the actual band of.
  38. Venus About You by Bananananaramanamamamaranamarama
    It's the song from the commercials about lady razors for legs and stuff attached to the legs probably also. Where they keep kicking their legs, then some guys show up to check out their smooth legs, but they stand too close and get kicked repeatedly in the crotch, like that one Police song. Anyway if you want an 80s song this is it. That extreme synth bassline. It also turns out this is a cover of a song from a while before.
  39. Dancing On The Ceiling by Lionel Richie
    Or more accurately, dancing while in some sort of rotating room prop in a studio. Or some other special effects. It's fun to see that in action. Hollywood these days would probably greenscreen everything and add explosions in super HD remasters and the trailer would use that horn noise too much.
  40. Conga by Miami Sound Machine
    It's a dance song. One that can be danced to unlike some these days. I remember this being on Futurama, as a bunch of "oldies" were. A show that used a notable amount of somewhat contemporary music when it takes place in the future.
  41. True Colors by Cyndi Lauper
    Whatever color her hair is, it's a truly 80s hairstyle. And some kinda ballad sorta deal, I guess.
  42. Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
    Gee I wonder what year Top Gun came out in. From the master of movie themes in the 80s, it's the place Archer takes you to in that one show. Not to be confused with any of the other zones, like Twilight, Fiddy, No Flex (But Flex Anyway), No Parking Fire Lane.
  43. What Have You Done For Me Lately by Janet Jackson
    She wonders what's been done for her lately while someone jams on an old-timey... synthesizer because what other instruments would be used in this era.
  44. No One Is To Blame by Howard Jones
    What a slow sappy song. Those are still on here, yep.
  45. Let's Go All The Way by Sly Fox
    If you wanted a song where the people in the song try to imitate the synthesizers of the exact same song they're in while they kinda sing with not much emphasis over a beat that sounds like it'd do better with a rap, this might be it. What a weird song. Then Insane Clown Posse covered it. And they tried really hard to get their video on MTV to the point where fans crowded outside of where TRL used to be and then police were there and it was just a weird incident all together.
  46. I Didn't Mean To Turn You On by Robert Palmer
    If a song was made today with this title, it might be a song about OH NO I'M ACCIDENTALLY TOO SEXUAL WHILE I HIT ON EVERY SINGLE LADY IN THIS CLUB NOW HERE'S 5 MINUTES OF SWEARING. As for this song... it's just weird. I haven't heard this one before. At least that I remember. Probably not.
  47. Words Get In The Way by Miami Sound Machine
    It's a... slow dance song. Just what I need. Or not. I don't. I'd rather do the conga with all those words that were fast and I forget half of them.
  48. Manic Monday by The Bangles
    As opposed to Wish It Were Sunday. It's what happens when Garfield makes a song but is a singing lady instead.
  49. Walk Of Life by Dire Straits
    It's the walk of life, you walk it and you live. What else would it be. It's not death metal so it's not the walk of death. Or the hall of death, where the only way out is death. And having a mustache. And treating an entire point and click as if it were a computer brute-forcing every single possibility.
  50. Amanda by Boston
    It's a song named after a girl, the most original of concepts. But it's Boston. Rocks a fair bit even for a power ballad, I suppose.
Well, that's half of the 80s done. Or just one year of it. I'm just doing this year for now out of the 80s. Anyway the next half is up... next. Because it would be.

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