June 11, 2017 (Originally posted on Blogger)
Katy Perry: Witless Protection Featuring Larry "Git-R-Dun" The Cable Guy
Music has allowed me to travel, which has reeducated my mind and changed my perspective on so much, so my education and my consciousness comes from my voice, and that's how I see, and that's how I witness you and that's how you witness me and that's why the eye is in the mouth. - Katy Perry apparently explaining her new album coverMeanwhile I didn't use the actual album art for the album picture here (or a mockup of it at least) because I noticed she has a habit of making her song videos just literally GIFs until the "real" video. In one of them her head was spinning around so I just wanted to mess with that. This is literally the only joke I wanted to make about the album anyway so... yeah.
- Witness
Already opening with the title. It's a... pop song. I guess. - Hey Hey Hey
It's Fat Albert! I wish. NO WAY! NO WAY! NO WAY? NO WAY! - Roulette
She already made that song, it's the one where her head spins around on a plate and I totally ripped that off for the picture. At least you'd think. When you have things spin around really fast in a GIF. But it's another pop song. - Swish Swish (with Nicki Minaj)
Here's a song. It might be about basketball. Also Nicki Minaj is there. I wish this song had an incredibly grotesque sound effect instead. Like Schglop Flornt, another one in the... fort? Or Splortch Skrunt, another one in the - Deja Vu
I want to make an Initial D joke but so many songs use this name and the one from Initial D is still the best one. This one, well, calling your song this doesn't really mean you should use all the clichés. Solve a Rubix CYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOB. And the definition of insanity, as described by that one dude from... Far Cry 3 I think? - Power
HASHTAG POWER. This time William or Justin Who's His Name isn't here though. Admittedly this song's less annoying than that one. - Mind Maze
Isn't this the name of that one game that came with Microsoft Encarta when they made that? Like you go into it and you have to answer a bunch of questions while running around a dungeon because it's supposed to be educational. There's too much autotune here. Not enough General MIDI. - Miss You More
I didn't. Sure is a slow song that's overblown with production. I even forgot that I listened to it in the short span I was looking through songs for this review. - Chained To The Rhythm (with Skip Marley)
I checked, Skip is apparently the grandson of Bob Marley. So there is a relation. Anyway here's a song about being trapped in some kinda bubble but there's music too and it's a chain somehow. And how WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE RUN - Tsunami
RUN IT'S THE TSUNAMI Is she comparing herself to a waterbed? I haven't heard that one in the context of sex stuff. - Bone Apetit (with Migos)
It's this song. She wants you to eat her whole vagina. Or maybe she just opens her legs and this long buffet table just shoots out of there in high speeds. And then there's a rapper for some reason. - Bigger Than Me
Something sure is. She wonders if she's a robot who breathes. What. - Save As Draft
Maybe should have done that to work on this later? I guess it's a complete song, but pretty standard. - Pendulum
TAKE ME OUT OF HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERE. I was just quoting a song by the band Pendulum who makes some kinda music. Is this one of those empowerment songs? Well she's done those before. - Into Me You See
See in her. Like the Fantastic Voyage. I bet she'd make a music video like that. Where it's just all made of cotton candy and whipped cream boob guns. Snoop Dogg is there for some reason. Though this is all slow and stuff.