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July 23, 2017 (Originally posted on Blogger)

1976 Year End List Review Thing: Bicentennial Funk Edition (Part 1)

Well here we are again, so it's the bicentennial of America, so you've got a lot of patriotism, but then there was Vietnam, so you've got a lot of the opposite. That seems to happen a lot. At least there's disco instead of crappy garbage music that time. You see people complain about disco back then and you show them some of the garbage today and they'll want like a decade more of those mirror ball thingies. Or just go back to the 40s, I don't know. We'll see what comes out of this list and see how it compares to... itself I guess, not really running a lot of things here. Also this is when music videos were less frequent (until recently because a bunch of rap songs drop and they forget to make videos or just put them on some obscure website) so there's like concert stuff but videos still showed up somehow. If anything just compiled from clips.

  1. Silly Love Songs by Wings
    They sure did drugs in the 70s. This video starts with like some amalgamation of all their faces. So they realized that there really were a lot of silly love songs even as far back as the 70s. But then he advocates even adding more and then you get all these ballads later on. Of course being from the Beatles you might think that too.
  2. Don't Go Breaking My Heart by Elton John and Kiki Dee
    Well, don't, I guess. Elton John just shoves this lady in front of the microphone so she sings.
  3. Disco Lady by Johnnie Taylor
    So, yeah, definitely when disco was around. The menace that plagued society, apparently, then you look at modern music and you're like, oh. Maybe we should burn more CDs, that solves everything apparently. Even though CDs don't exist much now. Yep this sure is funky.
  4. December, 1963 (Oh, What A Night (For The Whole Month)) by The Four Seasons
    These people were around in 1963. So it makes sense. Not so much like the original version apparently which was about 1933 and Prohibition being removed which would make them very old if that was when they were around. Now it's just like about getting down with some lady.
  5. Play That Funky Music by Wild Cherry
    Well, this is funky music, and it's being played, so it's self-fulfilling. And they want some white guy to play it correctly. Vanilla Ice sure didn't. He got sued a lot for not crediting anyone ever on anything. And wasn't even really funky. Maybe just smelled.
  6. Kiss And Say Goodbye by The Manhattans
    Gonna get down and with it with this song. Get in bed and kiss that ass goodbye. Maybe do other things.
  7. Love Machine by The Miracles
    Get real funky in here with this. Turn on the love machine. And Cookie Monster is a cookie machine at the beginning. This is the good stuff here.
  8. 50 Ways To Leave Your Lover by Paul Simon
    So not that one Train song where they got run over by a lion or whatever because Train feels the need to make every song ever, but this one's just like getting out of there. And if your name rhymes with a way to leave, you're covered.
  9. Love Is Alive by Gary Wright
    A very slow song that's plodding of sorts. About heartburn. Also love probably.
  10. A Fifth Of Beethoven by Walter Murphy and The Big Apple Band
    Only a fifth, the whole Beethoven was too expensive. They can fill in the rest with disco. You might know this from knowing about that one disco movie about Saturday Night Fever. But that didn't come out until the year after.
  11. Sara Smile by Hall of Oates
    The kind of funk music you'd get funky to, probably. In bed. I get the feeling I'll say something like this a lot.
  12. Afternoon Delight by Starland Vocal Band
    If you don't think this is the best song ever I will fight you. But not really. But this is an all right song, all right. It's about sex, kinda. But not at night, at daytime. What a scandal.
  13. I Write The Songs, Not You, I Do, I Write All Of Them by Barry Manilow
    As written by Bruce Johnston. But it's about God or something, apparently. Also he did parody versions where he suggests that he actually did write all the songs.
  14. Fly Robin Fly by Silver Convention
    Because Gold Convention already did Fly Batman Fly. So yeah in case you forgot this list is from the 70s here's disco.
  15. Love Hangover by Diana Ross
    This song just gradually goes from soul to disco because yeah. Better than that one weird collab between Psy and Snoop for some reason.
  16. Get Closer by Seals and Crofts
    Sure is a ballad here. It's... very ballad-y.
  17. More More More More More More More More More More More by Andrea True Connection
    How do you like them apples. Wait, those aren't apples, those are disco balls, don't eat those. And then Steal My Sunshine by some band named Len took a sample from this.
  18. Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen
    Is this real life? I don't know anymore. But this is a pretty well-known one. Definite headbanger for at least that one part. Also somehow an opera in rock form because it's Queen, that would just happen with them.
  19. Misty Blue by Dorothy Moore Moore Moore
    One of those breakup tunes. So yeah. There's that.
  20. Booger Fever by The Sylvers
    Disco bands were huge. As in they had a lot of people. Also disco was in back then. It's like when they have too many rappers today but better.
  21. I'd Really Love To See You Tonight, I Mean For Real by England Dan and John Ford Coley
    A ballad about phone calls. I've heard this but didn't really pay much attention to it. I GOT TWO PHONES THEY HAD PHONE SEX AND NOW I HAVE THREE PHONES
  22. You Sexy Thing by Hot Chocolate
    For some reason it tries to link me to some weird remix with too many drum loops over it. But it's about miracles. And how magnets work. And are sexy somehow.
  23. Love Hurts by Nazareth
    Practically hair metal or power ballad or not ballad or something. It kinda hurts to listen to honestly, there's a ton of emphasis on the yelling.
  24. Get Up And Booger by Silver Convention
    It's more disco from the people who didn't take bronze for an answer, but were too humble for gold. Seems very instrumental aside from a couple lines.
  25. Take It To The Limit (Not Scarface) by Those Eagles
    A much slower song than that other one about limits. But maybe still a bit faster than that one Rick Ross thing that sampled that one.
  26. (Shake Shake Shake (Shake Shake Shake)) Shake Your Booty (Shake Your Booty) by KC and the Sunshine Band
    Oh no, it's the robot Richard Simmons, watch out, his booty's going nuclear. This is certainly disco all right.
  27. Sweet Love by The Commodore 64s
    It's funk. What if you loaded a funk tape into a Commodore 64? It probably wouldn't work. But what if it did? It would be the funkiest game ever. What if a band that wasn't Radiohead or something else artsy put C64 programs into their songs? Some do that thing where if you analyze the spectrums in a way you can see stuff drawn in them.
  28. Right Back Where We Started From by Maxine Nightingale
    The song that should play when you have a game with no or very few checkpoints. Or starting over in general. It's pretty upbeat and all right for that stuff, all things considered.
  29. Theme from SWAT by Rhythm Heritage
    When theme songs were just called theme songs and didn't try to be like songs outside of the movie or show or whatever. When cops were as funky as much as they have guns and stuff now I guess. It's like when a police station is just located right next to the disco zone. For some reason I remember this one show from like Saturday mornings where it was cops from the disco era, but a cartoon, and it was weird how they tried to market that to I guess kids who were like not even close to being the components of being a baby yet so they weren't around for disco, but then That 70s Show was around and actually on when adults who were probably around that age when the show took place and that turned out pretty good. That 80s Show turned out less good and we don't talk about it. Also it started while That 70s Show was still going so that was too much old times at once.
  30. Love Rollercoaster by Ohio Players
    Here's a song about a rollercoaster called love. It's funky. Also apparently some legend about how someone was murdered or had all of their skin ripped off and that was put onto the recording but it's just someone getting really into the funk riffs. And then the Red Hot Chili Peppers did a cover that was really only found on the soundtrack of the Beavis and Butt-head movie. I tracked that CD down for a while. Fortunately the movie itself was easier to find.
  31. You Should Be Dancing, You Must Be Dancing, DANCE RIGHT NOW by The Bee Gees
    At least this is definitely a song to dance to. It's very good disco. Disco didn't need to have "dance" in the genre name to be danceable. You just know it.
  32. You'll Never Find That Microfilm Of Mine by Lou Rawls, Secret Agent
    The real song though is that soulful sound you get down to, yeah baby. Respect for the ladies, not just being like I have a dozen, doesn't mean as much when you don't really care about them.
  33. Golden Years by David Bowie
    The funk times are pretty golden. Good music, interesting sounds, Bowie and Queen were definitely around but didn't have a single together until the 80s, which is also good. But then Vanilla Ice took it and rapped not great over it. But then later on this guy made of guns took a Fastball song and rapped not great over it either but that might be covered in the next modern year-end, or not, hopefully.
  34. Moonlight Feels Right by Starbuck and the Coffee Drinkers
  35. Only 16 by Dr. Hook
    It's about being in love with a 16-year-old while also being 16 so none of those weird comments. Young-ish love. Maybe a crush.
  36. Let Your Love Flow by The Bellamy Brothers
    When country that was popular was also good and you could totally jam to this. You don't need bro country for brothers to make country.
  37. Dream Weaver by Gary Wright
    I don't care what I'm told, the intro to this song is totally from a horror movie, there's all this violin and weird electronic music, and then it's like this lady's walking by a closet and this dude pops out softly screaming I JUST CLOSE MY EYES AGAIN and then it's finally a ballad or something. Also inspired some weird software used to make websites, probably.
  38. Turn The Beat Around by Vicki Sue Robinson
    Sure is disco. Turn the beat around, flip it and reverse it. TURN BEAT OVER. How do you rewind a record? Also how come they had to rewind the tape after turning it over in the Simpsons? What sounds like record scratching from a DJ is probably just the funk guitar stuff.
  39. Lonely Night (Angel Face (Silent Night (Deadly Night (Part 2)))) by Captain Tennille and Tennille
    Sure is a weird song. It's partly jungle beats and partly I forget what this genre is but it's sort of like doowop. Kinda sounds silly to me just because of the approach with instrumentation.
  40. All By Myself by Eric Carmen
    Don't wanna be. This sure is sappy. And is used in a bunch of weird commercials. In not serious ways. I think usually for like beer or snack food.
  41. Love To Love To Love To Love To Love To Love You Baby by Donna Summer
    Apparently this song is actually 17 MINUTES LONG. I think they just found a thing and went with it. So if you want a slow funk jam to jam to for 17 MINUTES, this is the one. The single version that is shorter by a lot of minutes is probably known much more. I guess depends on the amount of passion you need. And the additional sex-sounding-like noises which came from her sitting alone with her hand on her knee thinking about her boyfriend.
  42. Deep Purple by Donny and Marie Osmond
    This song is apparently from the 1930s originally. I wonder if charts go back that far. I should find those. Until the point when music was invented if possible. If you look at the history of classical composers, it's kinda like they were the rock stars of their era. But anyway this version is definitely a song. Upbeat-sounding and stuff.
  43. Theme From Mahogany (Do You Know Where You're Going To (No I Don't)) by Diana Ross
    The theme song from a movie. Specifically called the theme song here. Nowadays that doesn't seem to happen but you get themes from movies showing up on charts.
  44. Sweet Thing by Rufus
    Also with Chaka Khan. Everybody Chaka Khan. Then Wayne Chung. But, yes, another getting down to business song. All the funk.
  45. That's The Way (I Like It (Uh Huh Uh Huh Uh Huh)) by KC and the Band of Sunshine
    Classic disco song, this comes to mind when disco is mentioned. So, yes, this is very much disco. This is the disco era after all.
  46. A Little Bit More by Dr. Hook
    Just a little bit more until the end of the first half of this list. It's an okay song.
  47. Shannon by Henry, Gross
    A slow ballad of some kind. With a guy with a really high pitch.
  48. If You Leave Me Now by Chicago
    Another slow-ish ballad, it's weird how songs of similar types seem to cluster together on the charts. And not all in the same cluster.
  49. Lowdown by Boz Scaggs
    What a cool name. That funky funky soul sound, I like it. That would be the way I like it. Or at least one of the ways.
  50. Show Me The Way by Peter Frampton
    You probably know the live version from when he came ALIVE on that one record that apparently everyone had, even my parents. He talks with his guitar. That is definitely something. However if your shoes are talking that's just the drugs or some weird kind of smart shoe they invented for no reason.
And that's 50 from the 70s. There's 50 more coming up so... go there if you want.

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