It's a place all right.

August 21, 2020 (Originally posted on Blogger)

Pokémon Design Ranking, Generation 5

Here we go, a divisive generation that's also being looked upon as being the best one in the wake of whatever Sword and Shield are doing, but people will also probably argue it's the worst. It even took me a bit to warm up to these designs. They took a sort of "re-inventive" angle to have exclusively new monsters initially for the games, so there's a lot of role re-filling as well. This is the last of the "sprite" games though, despite having many 3D features, the characters are generally sprites in these games, so there's some interesting stuff there to consider for how characteristics were shown. There's also a whole lot of monsters so this took a while to get to with everything else I was doing.


As before, the scale is from 1 to 5, with 1 being the most loathed and 5 being the top favorites.

This generation is a bit different, it starts with a Mythical. All because of some weird lore or promotion thing.

Victini: 3/5
It's a whistling V-demon with butt wings. It's all about victory and doing the finger V thing. Incredibly large blue eyes like dishes that stare past you. Just an odd promo monster representing something.

Now the starters.

Snivy: 4/5
A smug snake lizard. Cute, yes. Lizard, yes. This one had to grow on me a bit but it was one of the first that did.
Servine: 3/5
Mostly a taller snake lizard that's becoming more snake. It's weird to see the idea of evolving involve losing limbs when it comes to a series about monsters becoming stronger by evolving.
Serperior: 4/5
A fancy snake. I do like snakes. And it's fairly cute. Also very fancy. Now pretty much without limbs, but can use vines or something like most Grass-type starters do. Also kinda resembles a banana in a peel.
Tepig: 4/5
What a cute piggy. It's so happy and snorty with its piggy nose. This one seemed to take the longest to grow on me, but worth it. I find I enjoy piggies.
Pignite: 4/5
For being the 5 billionth Fire/Fighting type, this one's all right, and I might even say this middle evolution outshines the prior two middles. It's a buff yet plump strong piggy, still with the big pig nose, and even fangs. It also kinda looks like it's in a wrestling singlet or some kinda suspender pants.
Emboar: 3/5
The 500th monster overall in the typical index, now pretty much a big bulky fighter, with a fiery beard that's also shoulder pads somehow. Complete with a belly band with swirls and what looks like wrestling pants, another mon that's oddly clothed-looking. Very grumpy and piggy.
Oshawott: 4/5
How cute. An otter baby. This one appealed to me first of the three for just being so cute. Complete with a shell accessory in representation of how real-life otters tend to have food on their belly while swimming on their back.
Dewott: 3/5
A bit of an odd one, it mainly has hairy pants and now two shells. It's also much bluer.
Samurott: 4/5
A cute doggy otter with a mustache and a giant shell horn hat. It also has two swords it stores in its arms somehow, where its forelegs from it suddenly being quadruped can still be used as arms. It also looks a bit chubby from its musculature and might be fun to ride on if it can run at a decent clip while carrying someone.

Again, this generation being a bit different, it doesn't follow the whole rodent/bird/bug pattern like others do, so here's just a bunch of monsters. Including many bugs.

Patrat: 3/5
A gopher, but it has weird red angry eyes and a single tooth. Not the most basic a mon can be for the regional rodent, but fairly fine.
Watchog: 3/5
A weasel, possibly a meerkat, now dressed up in a traffic guard vest, but still with those weird red angry eyes and single tooth.
Lillipup: 3/5
A puppy with a fluffy face. The fluff is the face. It's cute.
Herdier: 3/5
This is mostly just a dog. A fine terrier dog with a dog mustache.
Stoutland: 3/5
This dog is lots of fluff with lots of mustache. A dog of mostly fluff. Good doggy.
Purrloin: 3/5
Time for a weird cat. What's weird about this cat is it's been depicted to sit like a normal cat, but also mostly seen in 3D form by standing on two legs. Its design makes that seem weird, and it seems like it should be more like a regular cat stance, but I guess they wanted this to be like Meowth.
Liepard: 3/5
The cat becomes a leopard. That makes this line stand out even more as the regional Meowth line. It's a purple and yellow leopard and that's about it.
Pansage: 3/5
Broccoli monkey. I don't typically go for monkey monsters but this group is fine I suppose. Cute enough.
Simisage: 3/5
Weird bushy pompadour monkey. At least these monkeys have some sense of style.
Pansear: 3/5
I don't know why this monkey seems to have bigger ears than the others but I think it's all about the same size. It also has that swirly puff like you'd see on Jigglypuff. Or even Wigglytuff.
Simisear: 3/5
This is the chunky monkey. It looks like it really has no idea what's going on. That much is fine. I ended up having this monkey on the team for some time due to picking Oshawott and finding it amusing enough, and also not having access to Heatmor for... a very long time. Things do take a while in Unova.
Panpour: 3/5
Also kinda broccoli-ish, but blue. That's about most differences I see.
Simipour: 3/5
This monkey has weird hair, it's fluffed upward but also it's dreads. It also seems to be wearing a dress maybe.
Munna: 3/5
Munna is a disturbing piggy bank that's also part tapir. Tapirs having a lot to do with dreams in Pokémon, therefore, this is the Drowzee facsimile.
Musharna: 3/5
This is a monster I would like to not know how its eyes open. It looks okay sleeping, even cute, but awake it's very disturbing. It sees past souls.
Pidove: 3/5
It's a pigeon. Pigeons are funny. When I see them on the sidewalk I'm tempted to chase them around. These are cute.
Tranquill: 3/5
This is bird. It's a taller bird. Less pigeon-like but still pigeon-colored.
Unfezant: 2/5
This bird comes in two kinds. The male has a red mask with whippy feather attachments and green pants. The female has brown pants and that's it. It's like real birds sometimes. But still, a bit of a silly design overall that I don't find to be my favorite birds. It's mostly kept around for flying.
Blitzle: 3/5
It's a horse, it's electrical, therefore this thing is pretty much Electrike and Ponyta combined. So it feels a bit normal for things.
Zebstrika: 3/5
It's a bigger horse, it's more electrical, therefore this is Manectric and Rapidash all in one. Still fairly normal.
Roggenrola: 3/5
It has a big hole in its... face? And that's somehow its ear. It's a giant ear. It's mostly ear. It's the ear rock. It hears nothing but rock.
Boldore: 3/5
It's kind of like a weird crab. Interesting take on rock monsters, just having them be like crabs. Or maybe it's like a mite. A giant one.
Gigalith: 3/5
It's a bit too generic monster-shaped I think, but it's not terrible either. To think this is a trade evolution, but I guess it's just because it's this region's Golem.
Woobat: 3/5
A funny puffball bat with a weird heart nose and a dorky smile with a single fang. Actually kind of a fun design when you stare at it for a moment. It's definitely this region's Zubat, from frequency to eyelessness.
Swoobat: 3/5
It's a weird pig-like design with a tail that looks shaven and possibly prehensile in a creepy manner. Like more than a rat tail would be. It's just very goofy as a concept. It having just one giant nostril is unsettling more on this face than the puffball, but it's still a weird funny bat.
Drilbur: 3/5
A mole with a happy face and giant claws. It's just very happy and wants hugs. That's pretty cute.
Excadrill: 3/5
A chunky mole with really jagged claws. Reminds me of Zangoose with its angry looks, but then it can also compress itself into a weird potato shape for some reason. I don't get what that's about.
Audino: 5/5
It's the Chansey of the Unova region, and it shows, not only in HP but in its adorable design. A bit more of a defined body than just round egg, it's still a chunky bunny-like thing. It's also got big ears and a fluffy butt. Very shiny blue eyes too. It all goes pretty well together. Also, pink.
Timburr: 3/5
Timburr is a bit cute with its big black nose, but is already showing a bit of the veiny weirdness. It carries a plank of wood which somehow defines its name.
Gurdurr: 2/5
Starting to look a bit overly veiny here, I don't exactly see roadmap vascularity as an ideal thing for mons. It also carries an iron beam to maximize its pump and wears a clown nose. So if buff veiny clowns are your thing, this may be the mon for you.
Conkeldurr: 1/5
I feel like this mon represents an old bodybuilder trying to stay in their prime. Veiny yet wrinkly and looking a bit creepy. It also has a giant clown nose, which if replaced by a humanoid nose in some editing program, may look slightly better somehow.
Tympole: 3/5
A tadpole with concern eyebrows. The eyebrows are meant to be musical notes but just make it look with a concerned expression.
Palpitoad: 2/5
This one's a bit of an odd one. It's like if Wooper got on crack and developed pustules. Don't do all the drugs at once.
Seismitoad: 3/5
A chunky yet bulbous frog toad. Fits the toad design pretty well and just always looks grumpy thanks to its giant head lumps.
Throh: 3/5
A judo fighting type. This one is shorter and heavier and also red.
Sawk: 3/5
A karate fighting type. This one is taller and leaner and also blue. I think this pair, while also resembling Mario and Luigi, or possibly Bert and Ernie, is mainly the counterpart to Hitmonlee and Hitmonchan.
Sewaddle: 4/5
It's a baby bug. Not sure if it has rubber bumpers, but it has little feets and a nibbly mouth and some weird ball things on its head but overall it's such a cutie.
Swadloon: 5/5
Cocoon middle forms of bug monsters are often pretty generally something that doesn't do much and may have eyes, but this exhibits so much personality. It's an egg bug that's all wrapped up and doesn't want to be bothered too much and it shows in the face, which this cocoon has. Therefore, adorable.
Leavanny: 4/5
A happy mantis that's very stick-like and leafy. It's generally always got a smile, and a pointed one too, just not with teeth. It's a bug after all.
Venipede: 4/5
It's a bug-eyed grub bug. This chubby thing is cute in its own merit, like a weird dog but crawlier.
Whirlipede: 3/5
This is a more traditional cocoon middle form, since all you can really see are its eyes, but it's a wheel. So it's not a "stuck there just using Harden" thing entirely.
Scolipede: 5/5
My favorite horse bug. The biggest bug too. Long and tall and a bit tubby too, also somehow very fast as it's like a horse. It also has an expression of either boredom, annoyance, or bedroom eyes, depending on who you ask. I just think it deserves hugs with caution given all the spiky bits.
Cottonee: 4/5
A fluffy bunny lump. Pretty much a fluff orb, about the minimum you need for a cute mon.
Whimsicott: 4/5
A small imp sheep thing with a giant head of fluff and a great smile and looks way too huggable.
Petilil: 4/5
A cute radish or onion or something. Mainly a bulb with a face, or at least the beady eyes of a cute face.
Lilligant: 5/5
A pretty and adorable flower lady. From the flappy leaf arms to the bulbous bottom and especially the adorable face, this is quite a mon to behold.
Basculin: 3/5
This one fish is two fish. It comes in a red fish and a blue fish. The eyes are different between them but it's pretty much the same mostly green fish, which may or may not lay green eggs but it's definitely not ham.
Sandile: 3/5
It's a goggles gator. It's cute and has a weird squishy-looking face. It might also make a weird honking noise until a person-face lizard goes YEE. It also makes a funny boing noise.
Krokorok: 3/5
This gator croc wants you to deal with it. Definitely has the appearance of sunglasses.
Krookodile: 3/5
This thing is now red and has a very long nose. It has really angry sunglasses eyes, and that can be enhanced by making it wear even more sunglasses.
Darumaka: 3/5
A small imp creature. Exactly shaped like it's namesake, the daruma or dharma or Greg or I don't even know the proper term. It also makes hot poops. And that grin shows that it's not going to deny that fact.
Darmanitan: 3/5
An angry gorilla orb that can compress itself into a blue stone orb. The latter looks a lot more like the daruma/dharma/Greg still in its name.
Maractus: 4/5
Bunny cactus. Sometimes I forget this one exists because I hardly see it but it's worth remembering. It's cute and dances around and is a bunny. Also cactus.
Dwebble: 3/5
Tiny rock shell bug. It's so tiny with its buggy eyes. Very crab, too.
Crustle: 3/5
A goofy crab bug with a giant slab on its back. Its expression is great, and it may even somehow resemble a cake slice if you enjoy eating dirt.
Scraggy: 3/5
A weird pants lizard. Its pants might just fall off so it's constantly pulling them up. It also has such a silly stare.
Scrafty: 3/5
The pants lizard becomes edgier and pantsier. Now it's a punk who needs to pull up their pants. It just looks more tired or agitated than a silly pants lizard kid.
Sigilyph: 4/5
A very cute and very weird bird thing. It's an orb with a lot of sticks coming from it, almost like it came from the same school as Unown, especially its head thingy and its single eye. An odd patterened floaty orb monster bird. It's so weird, I like it.
Yamask: 3/5
This is a sad ghost that carries a face around. Supposedly it's its own face, but not its current face, but the face it had when it was a person or something person-like.
Cofagrigus: 3/5
A monster that has difficulty being placed on the GTS due to the Scunthorpe problem, this is a coffin with spooky arms that come out sometimes.
Tirtouga: 3/5
A fine enough fossil sea turtle. Very blue because it's from the water.
Carracosta: 3/5
A bulkier sea turtle. Still very blue, still very watery. Just taller and heavier.
Archen: 3/5
ROCK CHICKEN. It's a chicken made of rocks.
Archeops: 3/5
ROCK CHICKEN PART 2. It's rockier, chicken-ier, and also lizard-ier.
Trubbish: 3/5
This monster is garbage and its design is garbage. Really, it's just garbage. By that, I think they nailed it, it's just a silly garbage bag monster with a funny but cute face. And to think this is one of the things that put off people from this generation. I don't think I can hate this one at all, but it's not the most stunning favorite for me either. Just a silly trash monster.
Garbodor: 3/5
This monster whose name is probably just punching a keyboard is just trash spilling everywhere. So it's even more garbage than the last one. I could see why people wouldn't like this one either, but this design just fits together pretty well.
Zorua: 3/5
A small fox dog thing. Definitely taking clues from Riolu.
Zoroark: 3/5
A tall weird lanky demon clown fox sort of thing with a lot of hair. It's the Lucario of this generation without a doubt.
Minccino: 3/5
It's cute and goes "woop"or possibly "mworp". Suitable for petting.
Cinccino: 3/5
It's still cute and now it has a weird brain scarf all over it. Also nice to pet.
Gothita: 2/5
The least bad of this line, at least it looks like an ugly baby in a weird outfit. It only gets worse afterward however.
Gothorita: 1/5
It's very awkwardly designed and uglier than before. I don't get the appeal of bright pinkish purple sunburned dead skin tones against attempted gothic dress. Way too much makeup too.
Gothitelle: 1/5
It's tall, it's overly made up somehow even more than before, and is just not very good to look at. It has too many ribbons even for some kinda anime game character. One of the reasons why I didn't go with the Black version first.
Solosis: 3/5
A cute cell blob. It has a diamond mouth that makes it look like it's a screaming butt. With a nodule. Encased in gelatin.
Duosion: 4/5
A cute cell blob but bigger. And sort of shaped like a top. Still with the screaming diamond face.
Reuniclus: 4/5
The gummy bear is here. With a tiny form encased in a lot of gelatin goop that lets it have giant arms. Would probably be interesting to hug. One of the reasons why I went with the White version first.
Ducklett: 4/5
Quack. It's duck. A small duck that quacks. Hello duck. Quack quack. Welcome to duck zone.
Swanna: 3/5
This swan has boobies. Like shell boobies but they're feathers. It's a feather bra? It also just always looks disappointed.
Vanillite: 3/5
It's ice cream. Small and happy it's not being eaten. It's also happy when it's not being insulted for being an object monster. I still don't see anything wrong with that concept, just that execution may vary.
Vanillish: 2/5
The ice cream is now larger. That's mainly all that happened. Not quite so cute since it's not so tiny.
Vanilluxe: 3/5
The ice cream is now double. Double the ice cream, double the don't eat this because it will probably fight back. There's even a weird straw tube to emit ice stuff probably. Biology in this Pokémon world is probably a very difficult subject.
Deerling: 3/5
It's a tiny cute deer that goes bloop bleep. It also changes with the seasons in games that actually have seasons, so that's pretty much just the Unova games. However it's only mostly changing colors.
Sawsbuck: 3/5
A bigger deer that also changes with the seasons, but this time more so. The big focus is what's up with its antlers, except it also just gets fluffier overall in winter.
Emolga: 3/5
The Pikaclone of this generation, which since it's made of mons to take the place of existing mons, would just outright make this the new Pikachu. This time it flies and has a giant face for its head. It also doesn't become any other monster. It's still definitely a Pikaclone then.
Karrablast: 3/5
A SCREAMING BEETLE. It keeps screaming. It rarely stops screaming. Maybe it's just really excited.
Escavalier: 4/5
Stealing a helmet from a mon way down on this list, it gets an upgrade. Now it's a cute bug knight with big pointy sticks for arms. Of course it kinda just floats around somehow.
Foongus: 3/5
A whistling mushroom that has an appearance reminiscent of Diglett. Of course it's meant to be a mimic as Voltorb can somehow be. Yet somehow really obviously based on the Poké Ball. It's a bit of a stretch unless Pokémon are somehow designing themselves to attack people.
Amoonguss: 2/5
A bigger, angrier whistling mushroom with even more Poké Ball patterns. However this works, it's just weird. Even more of a stretch.
Frillish: 3/5
Frillish comes in two colors, depending on sex. There's manly baby blue and girly pink. That's just how this mon is I guess. The blue male looks a bit more sad or concerned, in contrast to the happy smiling pink female. Mostly they're just fancy and frilly. Maybe even a bit clown-like.
Jellicent: 3/5
The jellyfish get a giant bloated ego of a head, which I'd find makes the design a bit worse, if not for the fact that the blue male is just Pringles. That alone fixes this mon I think. Once you pop, you can't stop, unless the head pops, in which case that's probably not good. Such giant heads.
Alomomola: 3/5
It's definitely not the evolution of Luvdisc, not at all. It's just bigger and fin-ier.
Joltik: 5/5
Tiny baby bug. The tiniest bug too. And it's a fuzzy baby spider. A round potato of a spider specifically, it's actually quite a chubby fluffy bug. Supposedly like a tick but definitely cuter. Just an amazing bug to pet as it sucks up static electricity with its nubby fangs.
Galvantula: 4/5
A larger, but still cute spider. Much bigger than the baby form, so one of these could have a lot of tiny baby fuzzbugs riding on it. That idea is cuter when it involves cartoon bugs.
Ferroseed: 2/5
Spike egg. That's about it. It's fine I suppose. Just careful when picking it up as if it's a pine cone.
Ferrothorn: 3/5
Spiky... UFO? Sure. It can walk on its spiky tentacle orb thingies somehow. I find this monster okay for doing a bit more with the spiky orb design.
Klink: 2/5
It's two gears stuck together with dumb faces stuck the way they are. That's just okay I guess, but could be better.
Klang: 2/5
When I say could be better, I don't mean just inflate a gear into a weirder face and leave the other half the same. The weird thing is the more abstract face looks nicer, but it's got this copy-pasted dumb face attached to it. So it sort of evens out but not.
Klinklang: 1/5
Certainly making things worse, they added random crap to this monster now. It's some kind of spinny spike thing stuck on the bottom as if they ran out of ideas on how to make gears work as a monster. I feel like Thomas the Tank Engine would have fit in more. Maybe if it was a train.
Tynamo: 3/5
Tiny cute fish with a weird sucker mouth. Adorable, but resembles a flatworm sperm sort of thing so it just gets a bit weird.
Eelektrik: 2/5
Weird awkward eel always looking like it's caught in the spotlight that probably comes straight from it as well.
Eelektross: 3/5
A bit cute again, just all kinds of suckery all over, like some kind of wacky monster that just has a cute face while causing weird destruction in some monster movie.
Elgyem: 5/5
Baby alien. It's just so cute, I love it. Just a tiny baby alien with flashy lights. It's among my favorite kinds of babies. Which is most creature babies. But this one stands out. Needs more hugs if it doesn't take offense to them with head-exploding brain waves.
Beheeyem: 5/5
A brainy trenchcoat or skirted alien, grown up from the baby form and ready to do some serious alien-ing. I'd also want to hug it, but would be wary of its weird mind trick things. Or maybe it just psychically takes something from the pockets if it's a crafty one. I just find the alien specificity in this line cute, especially a flashy beepy one.
Litwick: 3/5
A cute candle with a weird lip thing like some creatures have to appear cute, but it looks especially weird in 3D form.
Lampent: 4/5
A very cute lamp with flappy arms and a fire in its head. Just having the eyes staring out from the flame is alluringly cute but also raises caution about its ghost status.
Chandelure: 4/5
A cute chandelier that can punch really hard. It's a strong fighter and very out there as a pick for a fighting tournament, but that makes it a top pick. Beware its soul-stealing pretty purple flame and its adorable expressions that makes me want to hug it though that risks burns and loss of soul.
Axew: 3/5
It's short and stumpy as baby dragons can be. It also has giant teeth in its face that make it look like a mon trying to look prehistoric by sticking bones through random face places.
Fraxure: 3/5
A bit more grown up and more clear that those are tusks stuck in its face while looking not exactly stuck in its face, rather kinda just stuck on. Kinda looks like it's wearing a hoodie.
Haxorus: 3/5
A tall olive dragon with a semi-stout physique and giant scythe blades coming from its face. It's certainly a monster.
Cubchoo: 3/5
Cute bear cub, but should wipe its nose in theory at least. I don't get the idea behind Nintendo and Nintendo-related characters having perpetually drippy noses.
Beartic: 4/5
A polar bear with a weird beard but ultimately a cute big bear. Long claws and a trapezoidal body shape of sorts. It could probably give a crushing hug.
Cryogonal: 2/5
It's like a far less ugly Glalie, but it's a single form. Hard to tell if it has a mustache or that's just stuff like snot coming off of it.
Shelmet: 3/5
A kissy-faced... thing in a knight helmet. This is quite far away from its evolutionary counterpart that will steal its helmet.
Accelgor: 2/5
An octosquid lump wrapped up like a mummy. Possibly also kissy-faced. I see less of a ninja and more of a mummy wanting to make out, which just seems gross to me.
Stunfisk: 2/5
A disturbing fish that's not quite like a fish and can have an incredibly creepy smile. Interesting, but off-putting.
Mienfoo: 3/5
A small weaselly bear-like thing doing martial arts. A small baby but it can fight.
Mienshao: 3/5
A long kitty weasel that has long floppy arms, except that's not its entire arms, rather arms that have big floppy bits on them.
Druddigon: 4/5
It's the Druddy buddy. It's a weird dragon that looks like it was drawn with crayons but at the same time it's great fun and can be a cute weird dino dragon too.
Golett: 4/5
A round rocky robot. It's odd, ancient, and cute. It has some odd not-symmetrical eyes and design to it, which makes it a bit more interesting.
Golurk: 4/5
A giant stone robot. Somehow it can even fly, which just makes this thing resemble typical giant robots even more.
Pawniard: 5/5
Tiny blade baby. It's so cute and tiny and I want to hug it but it's dangerous to hug. I'd risk it anyway. Something to be cautious about. Pointy blade hands to point at things.
Bisharp: 5/5
Taller and blade-ier, now a blade person. Still cute and I'd want to hug one, though it'd be more of a friendly hug than one out of pure adorable joy, as this goes with person-esque mons. Also seems to be like a parent to the blade babies.
Bouffalant: 3/5
It's the buffafro. It's a bison bull with a giant afro hair. Just a weird choice of design. Pretty much Tauros with more hair.
Rufflet: 3/5
A small eagle chick with a single feather on its forehead, well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming. It's pretty much chicken.
Braviary: 3/5
The SCREAMING EAGLE, the bird of America. Maybe even Native America. Or it would be Unova in this case. Who are the Native Unovans? That's a question.
Vullaby: 3/5
This weird chicken has a skull diaper. It's taking massive shits into a human skull. It's either a badass boast or a weird kink. It just also always looks angry.
Mandibuzz: 3/5
This is a vulture. It's pretty much a vulture. That's about it.
Heatmor: 4/5
A grumpy dumpy anteater and it's all I could ask for with regards to weird anteaters. It also has a strange car theme with a tailpipe it breathes through while it shoots fire with its tongue somehow. Just bizarre, yet adorable in a silly way.
Durant: 3/5
A cute angry metal ant. That's pretty much it. The significantly weak to Fire counterpart to a Fire monster. It's an odd defense and we seem to have come in on an odd point in the back-and-forth of the evolutionary arms race.

The pseudo-Legendaries, and then even more bugs immediately after.

Deino: 3/5
A silly small dinosaur dragon with hair on its face. It also looks happy to just be.
Zweilous: 3/5
It's grumpier with two heads, still as hairy as ever. Looks like it could bite anything in its way that it can't really see but is sure is there.
Hydreigon: 4/5
It's a cute angry demon dragon with two puppet hands. I could see this doing puppet shows or getting into arguments with itself. That's just fun for an ultra-tough demon dragon.
Larvesta: 4/5
Small cute fluffy warm bug. Tiny nubs and a fluffy face and just eyes there. It also has weird funny tube horns all over it that can apprently blow fire everywhere.
Volcarona: 4/5
Toasty moth. Moths are fun and fluffy. This one's extra warm. It too has tiny nubs, but a big butt. I also feel the need to pet its round head.

Finally the real Legendaries and Mythicals.

Cobalion: 3/5
A fluffy blue antelope that almost looks like it has a mustache. Part one of this trio of Legendaries, which is a thing that keeps coming up in this generation.
Terrakion: 3/5
A chunky bull that almost looks constipated. Clearly the brawn of the group, compared to whatever the others are. I guess fancy. This one looks like it could hold up in a fight and not be all stuck up about it.
Virizion: 3/5
Can you hear me now? Whatever cellphone this monster's tied to, it probably has nothing to do with Telefang. It's a sleek green sorta-deer-looking thing.
Tornadus: 2/5
The first of the genie trio, which I wasn't exactly a fan of to begin with, and each has an alternate form. This one can go between angry cloud man and weird chicken. It's also very green and kinda purple.
Thundurus: 2/5
Another weird-looking genie or weather god or whatever type. This blue thing goes from angry cloud man to... I'm not exactly sure, I guess it's like a dragon? Bootleg Lugia? Whatever it is, it has a tail that's shaped like something that's not exactly meant for a kid-accessible game.
Reshiram: 3/5
I find Reshiram okay. I don't exactly love it but it's a fluffy dragon so it's nice enough. Also it has a feathery protrusion from its crotch which can be taken in all the wrong ways. Also it has a jet engine tail ass thing.
Zekrom: 3/5
I wasn't exactly sold on the cover legendaries for this generation, but this one's also fine. It's jet black, rubbery instead of feathery, and also has a jet ass that's also more like a drill.
Landorus: 2/5
One of those weird genies got separated from the others for some reason. It has two forms, sitting in a cloud person form and weird faced tiger form. It's very orange.
Kyurem: 4/5
Kyurem is an interesting ice chicken dragon. On its own, it's a neat and slightly chunky dragon that looks a bit grumpy. However it can DNA Digivolve with the two cover Legendaries and become a weird fusion that also gets a more generic angry dragon face. I feel like Kyurem acts better on its own in this case, but an interesting merging concept anyway.
Keldeo: 3/5
It's a horse. This horse somehow ties with the other quadruped Legendaries that all end in -ion. It has two forms, and the alternate form is slightly different, mainly the horn gets bigger and a couple other changes, but nothing really massive to consider.
Meloette: 3/5
This is a singing and dancing lady-shaped mon that has the whole musical note motif attached to it hard and fast. One form has green flowing hair, the other has some kind of orange tornado hair thing going on that wouldn't look out of place anytime between the 1950s and 1980s. It's also a lot like Kirlia.
Genesect: 5/5
This is a bug and a robot, so that's already two cool things. And it might even be part fossil. It's also somehow very cute with its constant smile. For a bug likely named for an atrocity and also having a giant gun strapped to it, it's a great Mythical and monster overall. It can also turn into a car or maybe it's a surfboard of some kind. Still with that smile.

Guess what? Statistics time.


As far as this generation being divisive, it really just means that I have more showing up in likes and dislikes it seems. This seems to have the most monsters yet showing up on both sides of the big average, but this also has the most monsters in a generation as well, yet it's not just proportional either. Still, many of my major favorites come from this set anyway, so I guess it's fitting a number falls into the least favorites ever.

After all this stuff, as long as it took going over so many monsters, next I'll be going back further to Generation 4, still in the sorta-3D-but-still-sprites area. And probably slower gameplay. Just be careful when you're using super tank walls in battles, maybe bring a book if someone manages to hit a super effective.

(Back to blog index)