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December 31, 2022 (Originally posted on Neocities)

2022 Year-End Song Chart List Type Thing I Guess

Yep, it’s back. Which means the year’s pretty much done fiscally, but mostly literally as far as the general calendar goes. And some fiscal years are going to extend well into next year. Possibly well past the lunar new year as well. Then we’ll have all of next year to deal with and who knows what music will do then. I can only hope at least music doesn’t get worse, but at least as far as this year that’s been entertaining at parts. Anyway, Billboard’s list, and Wikipedia’s list for those who don’t want weird website ads and stuff aside from giant pledge drive ads that block the article off because they really want your money as well, so I don’t know, maybe there’s some plain text file somewhere that’s much easier to read but I haven’t found it or bothered to make it, just this review thing. Let’s just get this done.

  1. Heat Animals by Glass Waves
    Did they run out of songs for a while? I mean why else would this fairly average and not exactly remarkable and also sort of downbeat song that’s incredibly repetitive take the top spot? I feel like it was probably used as filler while they waited for new songs to show up. In fact looking at my review from last year I focused more on some event they had in the Sims 4 that the song just happened to be at. And during which I mainly just attempted to cause chaos by existing like how I usually play the Sims.
  2. As It Was/Were/When/Why/What/How/Who by Hairy Style and the Hair Gel of Ahjiojsdpjsdfpjo
    This is a song. It sounds like it’s going to hit a sick 80s synth beat but then it doesn’t so it just sounds modern. One of those quasi-retro things. At least it’s not horrendously sappy so it’s mainly just okay.
  3. Stay by some kid and some beaver
    This song seems like it’s overstayed its welcome and it just keeps coming up. I can’t stand either artist on this. Whiny barely-past-teenager-looking-person or former whiny child, I pick neither. This song may not exactly be hyperpop but it’s got elements of whatever that genre is in its most emo-esque form. In fact I’m not entirely sure what hyperpop is except it seems to be loud, and I think there are songs categorized in that genre that I do find fun, but I’ve also been exposed to a number that I don’t enjoy.
  4. Easy On Me, by which “Me” means Adele
    This Adele song is a song by Adele, and if you like songs sung by Adele then you might like this one. I’m seriously not one who gets into slow piano sing ballad type songs like this though. Also sometimes I wonder if I’ve heard one of these before but it could be a different one.
  5. Sheeran by Ed Shivers
    This isn’t the song that’s in the Pokémon game where they spent all the budget on adding Ed Sheeran instead of delaying the game by a year. But I prefer this song to that one anyway. It’s got a bit of a groove to it actually so I think it’s all right.
  6. First Class But On A Private Jet So You’re Actually Riding In Front Of The Plane Sitting On The Nose With The Wind Blowing Your Face Off by Jack Harlow
    Since Glamorous by Fergie is old enough to be sampled now, here’s a rap song about it. Yep, it’s a rap song, and it samples part of the Fergie song as a whole backing track. What if they make a rap song that samples Fergalicious or London Bridge or My Humps? I know the last one is Black Eyed Peas when they had Fergie but it’s in the same vein. I feel like the Black Eyed Peas songs with Fergie do much better even at their worst than whatever this ended up being. Because at least the worst ones were funny. And were about humps and lady lumps. Maybe should get those checked out just in case.
  7. Engorged Genitalia Power by Latto, not Lizzo
    I seriously thought this said Lizzo at first, but clearly this isn’t. This sounds like a pretty familiar backing track sample that’s certainly been used in several songs with someone wanting to sound like Megan Theeeeeeeeee Stallion being Dogja Cats. It’s not a bad style to do by any means but I don’t know, this one’s just a bit… off? And the core phrase of colossal genital power or whatever makes it sound like this song came out a few years back but maybe it took that long for that term to filter through the industry and become a song. A song that’s just kinda there I guess. The song about macaroni in a pot is a much better genital-focused song. Or that parody one of music in general where it’s just requesting to look at genitals plain and simple.
  8. Ghost by Not A Mystery Beaver
    Most other results when I just type the word “ghost” into YouTube search are related to the metal band Ghost or TOP 10 SPOOKY MOMENTS CAUGHT ON CAMERA YOU WON’T BELIEVE NUMBER 7. For one thing, I can highly recommend the metal band Ghost. I can also recommend the band Mystery Skulls who made a song called Ghost and has other hot tracks. However, I do not recommend this song. I mean, it’s not the worst song ever, it’s just incredibly generic and kinda sappy, so it’s not my thing in the slightest. Also that artist just has a terrible track record as far as making songs I enjoy, which I’m pretty sure is still zero. And no, I’m not just not liking this artist’s songs to be “cool”, that whole phase of not liking this particular artist has long since passed, I’m just really not a fan of any tracks. There are better ghost-related tracks out there. Like Ghostbusters. Or Super Ghostbusters. Or Bustin’. Or for stuff not specifically related to Ghostbusters, maybe other songs just called Ghost in general. Might be in the electro-swing genre or others for example.
    For a song called SUPER GREMLIN it really should have been more than a rap that started with kids on helium leading into a kind of mumble rap with an extremely trap beat. Well, not quite mumble rap but more just not enunciating a number of words. There are definitely audible words in there. Looking at the lyrics they barely even mention gremlins aside from associating the term with someone who’s desperate enough for drugs that they’ll consume counterfeit ones, sourced from your quasi-local totally Canadian real pharmacy that sells drywall chunks from your spam inbox. I can see why goblincore took off compared to gremlinwave and trollbeat, but with the right overhauls gremlin-related music could hit it big. For one, actually involve real gremlins. Just don’t microwave them after 8 PM or whatever the hell the directions are. I feel like a microwave was involved at one point in the movie but I haven’t seen it yet.
  10. Cold Heart (PNAU Remix) (What The Hell Is A PNAU) (Isn’t That Some Kind Of Bread) (Do You Mean Panera) (No That’s A Restaurant Or Something) (Oh Wait I Was Thinking Of Panini Bread) (Like That Bunny From Gumball) (No From Chowder) (Oh Yeah Remember That Panini Song And They Actually Did A Chowder Video For It) by Elton “The Bitch Is Back” John and Dua “IDGAF” Lipa
    This song bootlegs Rocketman, but with participation from the person who did the original, so it’s not a bootleg, which I guess just makes it a… leg? So yeah, this song legs Rocketman and is also disco I guess. It’s a weird version to try to make it more of a dance type song and less of a sit on a chair and rap song. Also the video seems to have some real crusty-looking claymation faces. And then Dua Lipa has Dua Titas in the Madonna cone style, and her and Elton John look like weird anime just staring throughout.
  11. W8 4 U by Future Drake Tems
    In this video, a drunk knight goes to fight. Oh wait that’s just how Future sing raps. And then Drake goes “yeh” and sing raps. And Tems is there. Also it turns out “sing rap” is really called melodic rap. So I was close at least.
  12. About Motherfuckin’ Goddamn Time by Lizzo, definitely not Latto
    So are Bad Bitch O’Clock and Thicc-Thirty the same time or is this reoccurring across different time zones? Either way, it’s one or both of those somewhere, and this is a definite hit. Funky as all heck. A number one summer jam and such. What I’m saying is that this is a good song and I like it, as I’ve liked a lot of Lizzo’s other songs.
  13. Bad Habits by Vampire Sheeran
    I’ve come to suck… that’s it. Actually no, this isn’t bad. It’s pretty all right, though I think I prefer Shivers comparatively, though in either case it’s not like a top of the list song for me either. In this video Sheeran is a vampire for some reason. It’s just weird as hell and vampire Sheeran deflates another Sheeran from a car crash and the other vampires melt in the sun and run from it but the Sheeran one is fine like a Twilight I guess? Yeah, usual music video stuff probably.
  14. That’s What I Like And Also Want by Tiny Nostrilx
    A song that came out after the naked shower dance and features a different kind of naked shower dance involving two in a tango of sorts. Just in case you didn’t get the very slight and subtle hints already regarding the overt homosexual overtones in these productions. I feel any proper LGBTQ+ representation in this genre is quite welcome. And it’s a pretty nice song too. Also this artist is apparently now the president or something of League of Legends somehow, which leads us to…
  15. 『TVアニメ』リーグ・オブ・レジェンド OP1 by イマジン・ドラゴンズ×JID
    League of Legends got on Netflix. No, I haven’t watched it, and I don’t really feel like watching it. I have just not gotten into that game and don’t want to for sake of sanity and having many other games I’d prefer to play. I’m not even sure what the lore is but it apparently exists. I barely know about Overwatch because there’s that robot with a bird who got banned briefly for being able to blow up the entire level in the definitely well-thought-out sequel game. However this song is okay, but unfortunately it’s just associated with that horrendous MOBA and that just makes me not want to deal with it. As if it’s radioactive or something. That song I also find all right. But then they have that new song called Bones which sounds straight out of the Backstreet Boys for some reason. I find that song fun specifically for that reason.
  16. Naked Shower Dance by Tinier Nostrils X and Jack Harlow Again
    Yep, this is still here. I really do recognize this most for the naked shower dance. Also it’s an all right song. Just have a full-length naked shower dance routine on this and I’m in. Even if it ends in Sex 3. Might just be natural progression.
  17. abcdefghijklmnopqrstu by gayle
    A pretty generic “fuck you” breakup song. At least they mention to spare the dog because doggy. Apparently there’s an “angrier” version, but they’re not screaming and overdistorting the guitar and claiming they’ll disembowel someone’s ancestors with a rusty dildo or something like I’d expect. So not much angrier at that. I’d prefer a version that’s just an hour of screaming FUCK YOU FUCKING FUCKFACE FUCKHEAD FUCKER FUCK and such. I’m talking enough nuclear F-bombs for Buckcherry to think it’s overkill, and they made an EP that was all about that word which was released through the label F-Bomb Records. I feel like they haven’t changed their name to Fuckcherry because it’s either already taken in some porn or they still want radio play.
  18. Don’t Need To Know This Song Exists Apparently by Doggy Cats
    I kinda forgot this song was a thing. And it was last year. Still not really feeling this one apart from any others. It’s just there.
  19. Drunk As Hell Off Your Fumes by Morgan Wallen
    Got to the country early on this list didn’t we. And of course just throw in that backing synthesizer drum because you gotta have pop in it now and also it’s slow and sappy. This sure sets the mood for later on as in I now expect country further down on this list to be even slower and sappier and poppier at the same time. Or it could go the opposite way and get more interesting to me if it’s lower down because of how the pop charts tend to not align with my preferences. Who knows. Not me, at least not yet.
  20. Google Translate says: I Behave Pretty by Bad Bunny and Chencho Corleone
    This is reggaeton from what I can tell, and then it has a high pitched guy on it too. Sure.
  21. Woman by CatDog
    She can be your wooma? Rumor? Roomba? Yep, this is a song by this artist.
  22. Google Translate says: Marmoset I Wonder by Badder Bunny
    This is a reggaeton-type song that becomes more like sing/melodic rap at the end. The video ends with an alien angel woman descending to a wedding. Sure then.
  23. Running And Accelerating Uphill (A Deal With God To Reach Heaven) by Kate Bush
    Another Netflix-induced hit on the charts. This one being related to Stranger Things instead of League of Legends. And of course since that show’s about the 1980s, this song itself is right from it. It’s an interesting song, coming from an era of weird and interesting pop music. Also up until I’d found the original I’d heard covers of it previously, at least one, and didn’t realize the original was a thing.
  24. We Don’t Talk About Bruno And Then Talk About Him For This Whole Song by a bunch of people from Encanto
    I recently watched Encanto as I was aware that songs from that movie charted and I finally got around to it. Interesting enough movie there. This song is a bit weird to chart since it’s pretty tied into the story of the movie and is clearly a musical number recalling plot, meanwhile something like Let It Go from previous charts has a more vaguely applicable theme to it to more than the movie, but I guess that doesn’t stop other songs that have significant story in them. This song is about some guy named Bruno and why they don’t talk about him, but it turns out they talk about him anyway, or sing rather because this is a Disney musical song. Not sure why this one specifically broke out. Or even why Let It Go broke out. Perfect storm or something, given that storms come up in both songs.
  25. Late Night Talk Show by Styled Hair
    This song sounds like it samples the 1980s in general while also being modern. I guess that’s the style from this artist. I’d say it’s an all right song. Doesn’t quite dive into the exact style of that period but it’s a style then.
  26. I Like You But I Don’t Know If I Like This Song (But It Is A Happier Song I Guess?) by Postman Lone and Dogcat Cat
    Yeah, this song exists. I don’t get much from it. It sounds like these two got on a song. Also I at times bring up the whole “operatic goat” thing whenever Post Cereal shows up. Yet I can stand Fleetwood Mac songs much more. Different compositions for one thing.
  27. Describing Someone As A Proof Of Alcohol Implies They’re Constantly Drunk To Where Their Blood Is Effectively Wine by Morgan Wallen
    More pop-style country. Yay. What is more notable is I found a weird kind of bot on these music videos at least twice in a row now. It goes something like “The day this video was released my daughter was born. I’ll never forget it. Now we sing to it!” even though it might only be a couple months ago. Sure, kids grow up fast, but…? It then goes on to mention that “This song and (the song they’re trying to advertise) are the two songs keeping me sane through these tough times.” Attempting to look up said advertised song, it seems to barely even exist on there at the time of writing this. But yeah, bots on comments are as weird as ever.
  28. Bad Habit, But Just The One by Steve Lacy
    This sounds a bit like R&B but indie rock? It’s pretty groovy overall. The video is kind of a low budget iPod commercial or Hotline Bling thing about just running and dancing around and then there’s a dog. Then the latter half of the song gets weird with the music cutting out and then it sounds like sneezing for the drums. Not sure what’s going on with that.
  29. Sunroof by Nicky, You’re Dazy
    For some reason the shoe on the cover is just massive. It’s an all right song, the track is good but the lyrics seem a bit cliché for my liking. Mainly it being a love type song. But I guess it’s nice enough to have on.
  30. One Right Now, Another One Later, And Another One Bites The Dust by Post Malone’s Weekend
    Just straight up starts in the video showing off buying a monkey JPEG acting like being a true gangsta or something, and I have a plugin that marks sponsor segments in videos, and that particular segment was marked as such, which I find funny. I also checked that Drake Nike commercial music video and that’s not marked as a sponsorship or ad at all, somehow. Or that Applebee’s song. So now I can’t even take the rest of this video seriously. Not that I was going to anyway. I guess there’s a gun fight in it. Shrug emoji. Shrug emoticon. Shrug emoticon where the ツ character is replaced with the shrug emoji.
  31. Gd 4 U by Olivia “Just Got My Hashtag Drivers License” Rodrigo
    This one stuck around then. I still don’t understand the drivers license thing. Something about celebrities or something. I guess. But this song is at least some kind of power driving it, licensed or not, like the Paramore song it sounds similar to as well. Which I pointed out last time.
  32. Numb Little Bug by Em Beihold
    Behold, the YouTube search is so broken if I don’t specifically put in the song and artist name together I get a bunch of weird bootlegs or covers. Anyway this is some kind of millenial anthem or something as people would call it because it’s about depression and burnout and related mental issues, also all the drugs for it. That’s pretty much what I got out of this.
  33. Jimmy Cooks A Jimmy Dean Sausage by 21 Savage Drakes
    Yuh. This is a Drake rap. For some reason the music video just ends the song after about a minute and then it’s another thing with no rap over it while trying to advertise the album. From that one time I rated a Drake album, it turned out I preferred the parts when Drake wasn’t on it. Maybe if this was more an avant-garde sort of experimental mix thing it’d be more interesting to me. But I found another version, probably the actual full version of this track, that has the other rapper say pussyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy before going into a whole thing. Honestly, if there wasn’t as much rap and it was more just sound mixing experiments and screwing with synthesizers and clips to paint a picture in that manner, there could be potential here.
  34. ‘Til Ya’ Ain’t Can’t Y’all by Cody “Cowboy” Johnson
    A country singer with the last name of Johnson reminds me of Cowboy Johnson from Overwatch and his signature catchphrase “It’s 4:20 somewhere.” Anyway this is a fairly sappy country song in content but the rhythm is a bit more upbeat. I guess.
  35. Fancy Like Eating A Whole McDonald’s by Walker “Carl’s Jr. Mountain Dew Your Ad Here” Hayes
  36. The Kind Of Sex We Do With Each Other by Luke Combs
    A sappy country song about romance with the wife and all that. And then the video has a very romantic house fire somehow. Nothing more romantic like almost dying from burning to death and having to deal with insurance claims.
  37. I Ain’t Not Worried by OneRepublicAgainstDirtyCommunistsInThePledgeOfAllegiance
    Apparently this is a Top Gun song, but not by Kenny Loggins because this isn’t the 1980s. This sounds less like a song that should be in a movie about jet fighters doing jet fighter stuff and shirtless male beach volleyball and more like it wants to be that song about not caring about young or old or whatever age folks, the one with all the whistling and super low budget animation.
  38. SOUL CRUSHER by Beyoncé
    The video for this is NOT CLICKBAIT, it’s CLIQUEBAIT. Somehow. I guess because they only had about a short part for a video and just went with that being the video before just being a mostly blank screen. Kinda like when trying to find the uncut naked shower dance. And it sounds quite early 1990s. All the early synth sounds and extremely repetitive samples that go past annoying and become funny and maybe catchy. You could throw this in TOP NUMBER ONE SUMMER JAMS OF THE SUMMER 1992 playlist and I’d probably not think twice until it inevitably includes a song from the 2010s that’s very obviously as such. Like those posts where it’s all like WOW 90S KIDS REMEMBER THIS and it’s the Wii.
  39. Something Orange, Something Not Blue by Zach Bryan
    This sounds Bob Dylan-esque. But a little more comprehensible. Generally slow and emotional country thing. Not really my style.
  40. Save Your Beers For Another Song by Ariana Grande Weekend
    This stuck around. Still as sappy and emotional as ever. Or whatever this song is.
  41. Smokin’ Out The Window Of The Boys’ Room by Silk Sonic using the seven Silk Diamonds to become Super Silk Sonic
    A groovy soul funk track about how bitches be crazy, having kids and family stuff so the dad has to smoke a pack a day or something. Another track from that album that dove even deeper into recreating the sounds of the eras but the subject is a bit weird. Possibly parody? Not sure.
  42. Levitation by Double Lips
    No babies to be found here. They said “let’s go” so then they left, and all that’s left here is a hot track. Of course this also stuck around and fittingly.
  43. In A Minute. NO, RIGHT NOW. In A Minute. NO, RIGHT FUCKING NOW YOU SHITFUCK by Small Baby
    Well there’s a baby in this one, but a different one. Video just says up front don’t watch if you have epilepsy. Like how video games do now. Anyway this is some kind of sing/melodic rap thing. That’s about it.
  44. Google Translate says: Московский Мул by Baddest Bunny
    Guess that title was in English already. Song sure isn’t though. It has a slower start before getting into the reggaeton beats. The video features nudity without nipples or genitalia, not blurred out, but just not there like they’re clones or dolls or something. Then there’s beach ocean frolicking and kinda sex embracing type stuff followed by swimming with water jet feet. Because why have a “normal” video, just be weird as hell with it. That’s the fun part.
  45. You Right Or You Don’t by Dog Cat Weekend
    Oh, this was on last year’s list. Well, guess I don’t have to add to those thoughts because they’re pretty much the same.
  46. You Had Me At Show Me The Monkey by Cole Swindell
    Apparently this song references “Heads Carolina, Tails California” which is quoted and this song also kinda sounds like that. Apparently this is a big enough country song to reference but it’s not familiar to be after looking it up. So now country songs are getting in on the cross-references and sampling and whatnot. Did we run out of songs when I wasn’t looking at the charts? I have previously wondered about the implications of “peak music industry” and I feel like that’s coming on stronger as more songs that borrow heavily chart.
  47. CatDog Does Vegas
    Apparently there was a biopic or whatever a dramatized documentary-esque movie film is called about Elvis recently, and I never really like to watch anything like a documentary aside from very specific cases, and I’d have to say this stems partially from having to watch some biopics in school, which did include The Social Network which felt kind of like a CSI episode to me in terms of general accuracy, as in significantly embellished drama points. In terms of movies I don’t want to watch, documentaries and biopics are within the top of the genre list. And it doesn’t help that Netflix keeps trying to suggest them to me because everyone else is supposedly watching them. Well I don’t. I want to watch weird anime or movies I heard of once that aren’t biopics and are instead really good and/or cheesy as all heck. Anyway, after finally listening to the song following that rant, this is a very period-accurate sounding song, if the period is present day, present time. Hahahaha. Speaking of weird anime, go check out Serial Experiments Lain.
  48. Pushin P, Pushing Poo, Sweet Caroline, DA DA DA by Gonna Future Young Thug
    I tried looking up whatever the “P” is they want to push so badly because they want it to be a “thing” and it’s apparently “whatever you want” so I’m just going to go with the likes of bathroom products. The pushing part comes from kidney stones and constipation, respectively. This is apparently my sense of humor. This rap type song feels taped together. The video too, it just drops in a random clip to interrupt the song. They just keep talking about “P”. Maybe it’s porn. Buy street porn cheap through definitely Canadian pharmacies that aren’t just cramming flour and drywall into pills.
    Dirt futures are looking up compared to crypto. You can do stuff with dirt too. Like eat it. I don’t recommend eating it unless one is capable of processing it or whatever is in it, like earthworms do. People who eat dirt probably have pica from what I hear. And I don’t mean any kind of small rodent or Pokémon. Anyway this is a country song.
  50. I HATE YOU by Anakin SZAwalker
    I could just paste the script of Star Wars 3 here but that would be getting off-track. At least comparatively. This song’s about bad relationships pretty much from what I can tell.
  51. Hey Hey You You I Don’t Like Your Boyfriend by Dove Cameron
    Obvious lesbian overtones on a dark instrumental arrangement. It’s a neat song though I wonder if I’ve heard something like this before. Possibly in a related style from another artist. Also there’s making out in a phone booth. I don’t think people really use phone booths for phones anymore. Pretty much just public toilets and make out booths instead.
  52. Glimpse Of Us And A Million Other Random Clips by Joji
    It’s some slow song but then the video’s just a bunch of clips of random explosions and police and people in some kind of winter type clothes like this was some kind of amateur dashcam footage or something? Clearly this is some kind of deep art that’s beyond my understanding. Or it’s 10,000 TikTok things glued together. Also beyond my understanding. I mean, at least the music video is weird, so they have that going for it. The juxtaposition of crazy action with a slow sad song reminds me of Gears of War commercials and I would joke about how they put the wrong song by accident.
  53. F/A by Jessica Darrow from Encanto
    A song that’s maybe a bit more potentially symbolic/relatable than the other Encanto song on here, because it’s not specifically the plot, but more someone singing about having to deal with a lot in general while maintaining a facade and such. Though on its own, it also kinda sounds like a drunk Katy Perry on a trap kind of beat. Oddly modern-sounding for a typical Disney musical number.
  54. Fall In Love With Sappy Country Songs by Bailey Zimmerman
    Yep, as mentioned, it’s a sappy love song in country style.
    This almost sounds like “Just the Two of Us”, but then it’s not. I don’t know that it’s even trying to sample that, maybe it’s just a general guitar backing of sorts. Sorta chill kinda thing.
  56. Super Freaky Girl by Freaki Minaj
    Time for a rap song to cover Super Freak again. Stop. No, just stop. I don’t really want to touch this. It seems kinda routine, really. At least Anaconda had the weird aspect of a rap song covering another rap song about butts and Drake being bored with a lap dance and some extended rant against skinny bitches as it was put.
  57. Hrs Nd Hrs B Mn Lng
    Apparently this is actually called Hours & Hours. This is a very R&B song in the classic 2000s style. Somehow 2000 is classic. Sure. It’s all right.
  58. I Don’t Like Sand, It’s Coarse And Rough And Irritating And It Gets In My Boots by Anamorgan Skywallenker
    Yay. More slow type sappy style country. Let’s just watch the prequel movies for the memes instead of listening to more sappy country.
    It’s some sort of reggaeton. At least reggaeton is far more interesting than sappy country. Also part of the video near the end has some weirdly edited in phone screen that’s less blurry than the background it’s on so it looks more like there’s just a floating phone.
  60. If Knives Could Talk Would They Talk About Stabbing Or Slicing More by Drake and 21 Savage and Postman Project Pat who is not Postman Malone
    Ah yes, the “hit” single from Drake’s “hit” album “Twelve Pregnant Woman Emojis” or whatever the hell even. Somehow this is higher than it was on the last list, and it’s not even high on this list.
    Not three As, not just one A, and certainly not at least a hundred, there’s only two in this song. And neither are Applebee’s. Of course it depends how annoyed one is by pop country or Applebee’s commercials if one would be driven to drink by this.
  62. Wettest Ass Pie by Megan Theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Stallion and Dua Theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Lipa
    Why is one of the results searching this something like “sped up with wink” and then it takes me to some chipmunk nightcore with CJ from San Andreas doing some kawaii anime blush thing. Anyway the actual video somehow has even more disturbing imagery, unless you’re really into things like bubblegum blowing eyes, multi-ass caterpillar style, disembodied hands groping everywhere, people removing parts of their flesh and it’s a pie somehow like they’re made of pie flesh, copious amounts of throbbing wall ass, hands also coming out of eyes and giving the middle finger, phallic apocalyptic hell where people painfully burn to death, and other such definitely non-nightmare-inducing sights. Poking around the video I keep seeing even weirder stuff with each scene change. Good for them making a weird-ass video, but I don’t see that being sexy to a lot of people. I mean at least Bubble Butt had more focus on asses that were still attached to people. And ass inflation inevitably. Pretty sure that’s popular online.
  63. Provenza Sounds Like A Drug For Some Thing by Karol G
    On a boat with a goat. Boat goat. This is a song but I’m just distracted by the boat goat.
  64. The Essence Of Pop Guest Star Add-Ons by Wizkid and Tems with Beaver add-on installed
    There are versions of this song without the standard Canadian pop guest. Again, that doesn’t add anything to the song for me. Originally this is Wizkid and Tems. In any case the song’s okay, preferably without beavers gnawing at it. Unless they get literal beavers instead of some random pop singer.
  66. Bam Bam by Bamila Bamello and Bam Bamran
    Instead of a naked shower dance it’s a mostly naked laundry dance. And it’s much later in the video. It’s some kind of salsa type song. The kind that goes on a Taco Bell. Not a taco from Taco Bell, the Taco Bell itself. A song for a Taco Bell restaurant and maybe a commercial for bootleg earphones that sound like a can shoved into another can. Okay maybe not that bad. This song is okay.
  67. 5 Foot 6 Foot 7 Foot 8 Foot BUNCH by Tyler Hubbard
    This somehow has an official unofficial video. It’s mostly singing in front of a white sheet and then studio footage. That’s about it. Meanwhile it’s some country song.
  68. Get Into It (YUH) by Drake Cat Minus Drake
    Somehow this isn’t a Drake song even though that’s Drake’s catchphrase or the closest thing I could find to it. Just randomly going “yeh” or “yuh” or “pussyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy” except that was someone else. The first part of the chorus just sounds really squeaky and it takes the second part which repeats what was said in the first part to make it clearer. Eventually it just results in bouncing lasers off of a butt. Butt was one of the words I heard initially.
  69. Google Translate says: Effect by Worse Bunny
    For some reason this has a 360 degree video. I don’t see much happening in this aside from some beach bros being beach bros. No angel marriages or doll people or whatever else. This is also reggaeton.
  70. Rock And A Hard Cock To Crush With It by Bailey Zimmerman
    It’s slow country. That’s it. Really all I could come up with for this is a Yoda CBT reference.
  71. Combin’ This by Luke Do
    It’s slow country. That’s it. I couldn’t even come up with a Yoda CBT reference for this. Instead I made a hair joke.
  72. OMG by Adele
    CHRISTMAS IN DECEMBER WOW WOW WOW. Compared to several other Adele songs that are on the radio this one’s noticeably different. There’s more of a backing track than a piano this time, and generally my history with this artist’s radio songs has been to prefer the livelier ones, but that’s for a lot of artists usually. Pretty neat and jazzy. I think I’d prefer this much more than Usher’s copy of Homer’s attempt at songs.
  73. Better Naked Days by NEIKED and Mae “Or May Not Be Nude” Muller and Polo “Not Worn While Nude” G
    Modern disco-esque pop song with a verse from another artist than the one for most of it. And a singing verse, too. I think it’s pretty decent.
  74. Meet Me At The Corner, Meet Me At The Spotlight by THE ANXIETY which is WILLOW and TYLER COLE
    A fairly solid song, not over-refined or anything, and a far cry from whipping one’s hair in an oscillating motion. Not exactly my thing but it sounds like it fits in some indie romance thingy.
  75. Fingers Crossed That This Is A Good Song by Lauren Spencer-Smith
    Turns out, well, it’s all right I guess, but not quite my thing.
  76. All Too Well (Taylor Swift Version) by Taylor Swift by Taylor Swift but actually by Taylor Swift and not by Cher Lloyd but by Taylor Swift
    So what, do I watch the 5 minute version, the 10 minute version or the 15 minute version? Because I only have so much time to listen to about 2 minutes of this song probably before I realize it’s not for me. I have not been into Taylor Swift songs in general and this hasn’t changed apparently. Not a dislike, just not into. But yeah, still not feeling this one. I wonder if there will be a version that’s 20 minutes next.
  77. This one just says “Party” and I’m not even going to make the bad translation joke by Even Worse Bunny and Rauw Alejandro
    What starts with reggae and ends with ton? Reggae-this-song-is-pretty-much-reggaeton-ton. What song also has a 360 degree beach bros video? Turns out several and this is one. It might even be the same footage. I haven’t examined closely.
  78. After The Beach by Baddest Worst Bunny
    I at least recognize the title mentions a beach, since I know this song by Righeira called “Vamos A La Playa” meaning “Let’s Go To The Beach” so that’s easy enough to figure out. But is it reggaeton? Turns out no. After a minute of a slower intro, this is some kind of frantic high energy more traditional-sounding music, apparently some kind of merengue mambo. Now this is a summer jam. With the same kind of 360 degree beach bros video as before, yet this is supposed to be after the beach apparently, so I don’t know.
    No, it’s not about that actually. Turns out it’s a slower country song about trying to convince a woman to leave before getting caught up in some kinda relationship thingy. But the joke pretty much wrote itself. And I’ve seen pictures of the combination Pizza Hut KFC Taco Bell flag signs, including in memes that parody that whole “love it or leave it” thing.
    Not as memetic but it came back just as well on this chart. Higher than before too.
  81. Broadway Girls So Hot They’re Incomprehensible, Daisy Durks and Morgan Wallen on this song
    I guess they’re attempting combining rap or trap or something with country again. That’s just wonderful. As in not at all. In case I have to clear up any sarcasm here. I would rather just have California Girls attempt to merge with California Gurls and make something terrible that way. Because that idea is at least terrible in an interesting way.
  82. Take My Name by (this band’s name is missing because someone took it)
    I’d say the country music must have all settled down here at the bottom once again but more is higher up than before. Or maybe it’s been that way for a while. I don’t really care unless it’s a song that isn’t just all sappy love stuff or attempting to be hip with the kids by including guest rappers at random like they’re manufactured pop songs.
  83. What Happened To Virgil by Small Durk Gun
    Apparently this Virgil was a fashion designer who died. That’s at least what I got after looking up the lyrics and then actually looking at the notes instead of the lyrics because this song also goes into a bunch of tangents and mentioning other people who died at other times. That’s about it. Other than that this is a rap song in the modern style.
  84. Puffin’ On Zootiez In The Future
    I wasn’t sure if this was “Zootiez” or “Zootlez” because of the weird font on the list. One would think “Zootiez” would be a drug or a cereal. Turns out it’s drugs. Some kind of special brand of weed that also has merchandise somehow, mainly clothes and stuff. Because why not. Now why wouldn’t they make a cereal? I mean, given there’s the whole “munchies” thing, they could sell the weed and the cereal and make double money. They could even put weed in the cereal and have triple money. Maybe. I don’t know how this works. Even whenever I’d end up in a place where taking a massive bong rip is totally legal next to a school or whatever, I haven’t felt the need to partake.
  85. Like I Love Country Music, Next I’m Gonna Say I Only Listen To Christian Radio by Kane Brown
    I actually don’t dislike or hate country music, it’s just a lot of the modern tracks on the pop charts haven’t been my thing. I’m just particular about it I guess. Like with a number of other genres. However I really don’t listen to Christian radio at all, unless I’m carpooling with someone who for whatever reason only seems to listen to it. Which has happened a number of times. Anyway, this song does seem to pull a bit more of the 1990s country style about boogers that scoot boots and such. Honestly that’s refreshing in the country scene. And there’s probably irony there given the whole reluctance to change thing and so on. But throwback styles have had a number of hits in the standard pop scene.
  86. Jingle Bell Jingle Bell Jingle Bell Rock by Bobby Helms
    More classic Christmas tunes to make the charts… more Christmas-y. At least it’s a mostly guaranteed way to add decent songs to the charts.
  87. Apparently this means Pretty Eyes by Even Badderest Worsterest Bunny and Bomba Estereo
    If this is reggaeton, it still sounds a bit different to the other ones from this artist on this list. And another 360 degree beach bros video, except this time they actually go into the water and do stuff.
  88. Trouble With Yet Another Country Song by Jason Aldean
    This one’s okay, not as utterly slow and sappy as the others at least.
  89. A Holly Jolly Chrolly by Burl Ives
    More Christmas for all the charts for all the years. Soon about 20 songs on the year-end will be Christmas at this rate. It will become the year-end Christmas.
  90. Kiss Me Fewer Times by DoSZA Cat
    This persisted. I was already tired of this before and I guess the chart is just barely tired of it now.
  91. She Supposedly Likes It by Russel Dickerson and Jake Scott
    Is this country? I’m not entirely sure. It sounds country-esque. Just seems a bit dorky romantic type song.
  92. Never Say Never Except You Said It Twice by Cole Swindell and Lainey Wilson
    It’s an okay country song I guess.
  93. Up Damn Strait Without A Paddle by Scotty McCreery
    Even with all the country that got up higher on the chart it still mostly settled around the bottom.
  94. Essentia Water Is All I Wanna Drink by Tate McRae
    A pop song that seems lower than I’d think it would be. And yes the video does feature branded bottled water quite often.
  95. Alone On A Last Night by Jon Pardi All The Time
    Another country song.
  96. I’ll Take You To The Flower Shops And Let You Lick The… Vases??? by ERNEST and MORGAN WALLEN
    For some reason I had to really dig to find this song and search the artist upload page because the results got all screwed up and attempted to give me a bunch of weird covers. All this just to find more sappy country. What the hell.
  97. To The Moon, By Which I Mean Shove It Up Your Ass by JNR CH and SM TMPKNS
    Crypto sure did great, didn’t it. Anyway this song doesn’t seem to have much to do with that. This is more of a dreamcore-esque melodic rap with rhythmic beat things and whatnot. That’s just a sentence I made up and I’m not sure how much terminology there was used properly. Interesting sounding song overall, but the lyrics when deciphered seem to amount to “I want to have sex with this woman” so it’s not like it’s incredibly deep or anything.
  98. Unholy Uncrap by Sam Smith and Kim Petras
    Well this is a weird song. I find it interesting for that. I can only guess it’s so low here because it came out pretty late in the year. Looking at whatever weekly chart Billboard has on their site, it seems this song did end up at the top spot at one point but is now in the top ten while they attempt to contain Mariah Carey’s holiday desire again. Perhaps we’ll see this on next year’s year-end in hopefully a higher spot, unless this is one of those things where a song ends up very middling on year-ends because of release timing and whatever logistics happen there.
  99. One Mississippi Two Carolina Tails California Floor by Kane Brown
    This video also had a sponsor segment marked because it opens with “HEY GOOGLE DO THING”. Anyway it’s a kinda sappy country song.
  100. Circles Around This Town And Points To It Saying Yep That’s A Town by Maren Morris
    Still not sure why the search keeps breaking and giving me random songs and covers. But I found it. At least this time it’s not slow sappy country. It’s more lively country. And the video features what appears to be fuzzy hairy butt pants that are worn around an apartment. Whatever the article of clothing is called. I know pants are usually worn around the butt but sometimes they’re not. Just that these kinds of pants are more butt-shaped. I guess. Like underwear. Underhair.

Well, that was one of the lists of songs of all time. I once heard a mention regarding people who dance to music effectively professionally, but they actually might not enjoy the songs they dance to, and are just dancing to them anyway for some reason, and wouldn’t listen to them outside of that exact context. Honestly, I have to enjoy the song first to want to dance to it or else I’m going to half-ass it or just not do it. Which sometimes comes up when playing dance games because it’ll either be a banger or a wanker. Or whatever the opposite of a banger is. Either way, I tend to wonder if I’ll end up doing a song list review the next year in case things end up lacking, but fortunately there’s enough interesting songs to look at.

Songs I’ve noted in recent times that aren’t even on this list are things like Hairy Style attempting to make music for a sushi restaurant but it ending up being for Airpods and also continuing to explore sexuality with fish or something, as well as Imaginary Dragons making a Backstreet Boys song that also sounds like that Butterfly song that ends up in all those bootleg Dance Dance Revolution games because it was actually in a real one at some point. And there’s probably some others but that’s just off the top of my head of recent enough stuff.

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