It's a place all right.

December 28, 2024 (Originally posted on Neocities)

Billboard Year-End List 2014 Re-Review

I’ve been doing this general review-type stuff for about a decade. That means I’m old. Oh, wait, I’m just old anyway. The first review I posted, back when I used Tumblr, was me being annoyed at Nintendo trying to market Chibi-Robo as some kind of camera. Then I reviewed Skyrim considerably more favorably. And then I was annoyed at Mirror’s Edge not being as playable with only melee combat or just going on the run avoiding combat as I’d wanted. But after all that I decided to review and complain about something other than random games I’d played, and looked at the Billboard Year-End list they do, back when it was more regularly posted in the last month of the year instead of increasingly earlier toward November in the same way Christmas encroaches on every other holiday as well as the year-end charts, except they’ve recently gone back to that again, at least for this year.

I decided I wanted to take a look at these songs again while waiting for the new year-end and see what I think of them a decade later, without pulling bias from my old postings, so I avoided looking at those while I was writing this. Also for reference here’s Billboard’s list, provided they don’t suddenly paywall it and it’s not so encrusted with ads that nothing loads, and Wikipedia’s copy, provided you can manage to remove the onslaught of pledge drive popups in the way.

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1. Happy Pharrell, as opposed to the Angry, Sad, and Neutral Pharrells
   Remember when pop music was good? Okay, there’s still good pop music today. It’s just super overplayed while it’s new so I stop liking it so much for a while, alongside the stuff I don’t like at all and is therefore inherently “bad”. Anyway, I still find this song fun and fitting for its namesake. Also on the topic of songs being overplayed, I remember seeing that there was this “24 hours of Happy” thing where it was just a bunch of hour long videos of the song on loop with random people dancing to it. I feel like after that long someone would get annoyed or totally lose it and engage the omega twerk.
2. Katy Perry’s Dark Horse may or may not feature Juicy J but does not feature a Cherry Tree
   Oh no. That’s how the song starts with some weird high-pitched voice, not my dread of it. Honestly I don’t dread this one. It’s an okay enough song. Of course hearing it on the radio in full is weirdly difficult depending on how your local radio stations are configured, as I’ve mentioned before. It just depends on how afraid they are of rappers appearing out of nowhere. Or getting addicteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed.
3. All of John Legend At Once
   A sappy romance ballad thing about loving an entire person instead of just their boobs or butts or internal organs or whatever it is people tend to lust over in music. Genitals maybe. Clearly I’m not into this kind of music but it’s fine for what it is.
4. Fancy Iggy Azalea and Fancy Charlixcxxcxcxcxcxcxcxcxcxcxcxxxxcxcxcxcxcxc
   First things first, this is the most real. It’s hyper realistic. The video has skeletons that fly out of the screen like that one old horror movie did in the theater. Maybe not. This is a great song to blast at people to annoy them. Which means I find it amusing.
5. Counting Republics by OneStar (not OnStar, this is not a song about cars)
   Another song that’s stuck around on some radio stations. Around when this band started seeming more interesting to me I think. It’s an okay song but it’s not one I’d go out of my way to hear. Something about ambition and burning money. As far as the latter thing, note that this was before the whole crypto thing made graphics cards nearly impossible to find for a while without just stealing one from one of those farms.
6. Jason Derulo Talks Dirty To 2 Chainz
   When Jason Derulo doesn’t care what language anyone speaks as long as the women speak in sex. I guess. Also 4 Chainz is there. I swear I remember seeing this post somewhere whenever 8 Chainz was mentioned the number of chains increased or maybe doubled so 16 Chainz then became 32 Chainz or whatever. Or was that a bit I did? Or maybe it was just a bit I took from that one post I saw before. Maybe on a list when 64 Chainz was on more songs. Also the song speaks in saxophones. Like that other song speaks in trumpets. Anyway this one’s just “eh” to me.
7. Magic? RUDE.
   Y U GOTTA BE SO WUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE? I’m not a fan of this song, and this song could be a lot more rude. Like changing it to “fuck you I’m fucking her anyway” and just more swearing in general. And just flipping off the camera and lighting stuff on fire and blowing stuff up and then this monster truck runs over the house or something. Then someone gets kicked in the groin. Then it gets sent into America’s Funniest Videos and Alfonso there sees it and runs and scoots across the entire studio because it’s the most messed up video sent in.
8. Meghan Trainor’s Booty Train About Dat Ass
   All about that ass, no nipples. All about that ass, no butts. All about that ass, no genitals. Ass ass ass now make that motherfucker hammertime. Still haven’t been a fan of these songs. Someone not knowing my typical taste in things might think I’d be a fan of some kinda throwback style like this, and in some cases I am, but the way this artist goes about it just doesn’t work for me. Bruno Mars on the other hand, I can get with that.
9. PROMBLEM? LE EBIC MAYMAY COOOOLFAEC with Ariana Grande and Iggy Azalea
   The opposite of 99 Problems because this is just one. But there’s still rap. And lots of saxophone. Maybe this was the lasting impact of that Saxobeat song or more that Epic Sax Guy or whatever the meme was. Just another random pop song to me, I kinda forgot this one happened.
10. Stay With Sam Smith
    A song that’s… really sappy. It’s fine, just sappy, and therefore not something I listen to. Sure is a contrast to the Sam Smith of some recent times though, who was making songs about unholy body shops that aren’t here to make friends and such. At least that pisses off Facebook jerks and whoever else wants people to stop being other genders and instead have everyone just merge into one entity and become some kind of unified conscience goop or whatever the hell happens in that anime I haven’t really actually seen but they remade it a dozen times and each time was just weirder. Also, imagine someone being so offended by the concept of pronouns that they just stop using pronouns at all, as in just somehow totally avoiding that part of the English language so they can’t even say “I” or “me” or “you” and ends up sounding a bit odd and repetitive to everyone else. Or they start sounding like Pepperidge Farms because Pepperidge Farms remembers.
11. Kesha With A Dollar Sign Yells Timber At Pitbull
    This seems more like a Pitbull song featuring Kesha, formerly known as Ke Dollar Sign Ha at that time. I also have not been unable to un-hear “I’m yelling tumor” since this song happened a decade ago. And then I think about how in that one movie where Schwarzenegger yells “it’s not a tumor” and for the longest time I thought that was a quote from the Junior movie instead of Kindergarten Cop, regarding that whole male pregnancy focus. I haven’t really seen either, but imagine being able to professionally produce Terminator mpreg fanfic as a real live Hollywood movie.
12. Pompeii Day And Bastille Day Are Not The Same Day
    It’s been a while since I looked up who did this song so I thought for a moment Imagine Dragons did it at some prior point. What else did Bastille do? Oh right, the collab with Marshmello for “Happier”. The less I have to hear that one the better. Fortunately, this song still gets airplay. It’s a cool song with drums and chanting and it’s about Pompeii. Not just an allegory but literally about Pompeii as far as I’ve looked up. Then I started seeing what else this band did, and apparently they did a kinda cover of that “Rhythm of the Night” song which is a bit interesting. They also did that song “Bad Blood” which I remember hearing at least. That one’s not a cover of a Taylor Swift song though. Speaking of…
13. Taylor Swift Shakes It Off To This Sick Beat (TM)
    Yep, this sure is a Taylor Swift song that came out around this time. As I’ve mentioned many times throughout Swift’s long-running career, I just haven’t been a fan of the songs here overall. I don’t even know of one I actually like. All I know is that This Sick Beat (TM) was trademarked in the same vein of things being On Like Donkey Kong (TM), and that this is apparently one of many songs that was re-recorded as Taylor Swift’s version by Taylor Swift for Taylor Swift and Taylor Swift fans. Of which I am not.
14. Are Nico & Vinz Wrong? No, it’s the children who are out of touch.
    I find this song to just kinda be one that’s on. I don’t dislike it, but I don’t really actively seek it out aside from how I just did to remind myself of how the song goes. Even though I’ve heard it dozens of times and already knew the gist of it. It’s some kinda Afrobeat track apparently where they keep asking “am I wrong?” and go “oh yeah yeah yeah yeah” soon after. And the video is just wandering around places in Africa. So neat.
15. DJ Snake and Lil Jon Turn Down For WHAT? YEAH!
    I don’t know that I’ve heard Lil Jon in songs made past this one, because I feel like I’d know if Lil Jon was in a song given the whole signature shouting style that even applied to some Reddit AMA thing that happened around when this song came out via the typical CAPS LOCK CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL. Or that I just hadn’t encountered any on the radio. Anyway, this song is certainly memorable, at least the initial parts and any part with Lil Jon. And the video features nuclear pelvic thrusts and omega sex and face melting. Because why wouldn’t it. Outside of that, the parts lacking in Lil Jon feel lacking in general. But that’s EDM for you I guess.
16. The Monster At The End Of This Song starring Eminem and Rihanna
    At some point Eminem kept doing collabs with Rihanna. Highlights include Eminem counting sheep, getting a demon voice before transitioning right into yodeling, and the whole “woo hoo” part from Rihanna punctuated by a crusty sample of a dog bark. I think it’s a dog at least. It’s an all right song.
17. A Great Big World And Christina Aguilera Look Like They Have Something To Say. Do They? Yes They Certainly Do.
    Say-some-thing-I’m-giv-ing-up-on-this-song. Way too sappy for me.
18. Team Lorde vs. Team Hunger Games
    Ya-ya-ya, here is Lorde. A song where “send the call out” gets stuck on loop for a bit and there’s actual apathy about putting one’s hands up mentioned. Because there’s that whole joke about if you really didn’t care you wouldn’t bother putting your hands up anyway, I guess. Anyway this is still a cool song.
19. Let Her Go (Not The Frozen Song) by Passenger
    This is very much not the kind of song I want to listen to. Way too sappy, a word I throw around a lot in terms of songs like this. I would rather listen to something by Passenger Of Shit. I’ve probably already mentioned their “Staple Tapeworms” song before. Maybe even when I last covered this song. I recommend listening to that song or probably any other random song from them just to experience it at least once. Just a reminder my taste in music can be eclectic as hell.
20. Royal Lordes
    Another Lorde song. Another neat one too. There’s also that Tennis Court one that keeps going “yeah” in a deep voice but that’s not on this list. Looking back, YEAH, this did certainly set the stage for Billie Eilish not wanting to win any Grammys and also having a name I have to look at really closely to make sure I spelled it right. And even that time I wasn’t quite sure.
21. Let It Go (Not The Passenger Song) by Idina Menzel as Frozen Elsa
    Yep, this sure blew up. I didn’t actually see Frozen until a while after it got super popular so a whole bunch of stuff I saw about the movie was pretty out of context, including that time I went to Disneyland. When I did finally see it, during some kinda incident involving a fire, it sure was a Disney movie. And this sure is a Disney musical song. So it’s fine.
22. Wake Me Up, Avicii
    If you ask me about the phrase “wake me up” in a music context, I’m probably going with the Wham! song if I don’t immediately think of Evanescence. And yet searching on YouTube puts this song up top, and it also has the most views as far as official videos go compared with those other two. And yet it’s my least favorite of the “wake me up” trio mentioned here. I also think I mentioned last time this song came up that there was a version without all the EDM around it, credited to the singer Aloe Blacc, as the “acoustic” version. I’d prefer that one over this one even if it is a slower song. There’s just something about the repetitive loop between the vocal parts in this version, which I’ve dubbed those interludes as “horse music” previously because there’s a certain melody/rhythm of it reminiscent of tunes found in the genre of western movies and TV shows and also the video showing horses running during those parts, that just annoys me, but that’s kinda more just from that era of house music dominating the techno scene in general. This is also not the last time this topic or the late headliner artist here will show up on this list.
23. Semen Demons by Imagine Dragons Fucking
    Unapologetically, I may have just made you actually imagine dragons or demons or dragons with demons having sex. Maybe also with cars. If you remember that specifically we’ve been on the same internet. Likewise, I cannot take this song seriously due to its own memes. This sure is my kingdom come all right. And now it’s in Night City, where you can become (CYBERPUNK RIFF)
24. Story of One Direction
    Before they went off on their own directions, they did this song. I’m certainly no Directioner or Directionista or whatever it is. This song’s just… it’s just there? Not my kind of song. I prefer the Smash Mouth song which is in The Third Shrek. Which I somehow haven’t seen yet. Yet I recognize the cinematic genius of Shrek 2 which I definitely have seen.
25. Sia’s Gonna Swing From The Chandelier
    1-2-3-1-2-3-DRINK. Pool full of liquor and you swiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing from the chandelier and diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive in it. But yeah this song is awesome and should be played loud and the video is hype with the kick-ass ultra ballet thing going on.
26. Iggy Azalea and Rita Ora are The Black Widow Babies
    A song with a lot of clapping up front with an intense buildup, then talking about a black widow baby, and then a not very intense drop. It becomes some kinda club music for just kinda existing. If the drop hit harder it’d be a more interesting song. Also there’s rap during the low parts.
27. Bang Bang by by Jessie J J and Ariana Grandede and Nicki Minajaj
    Bang bang into the room, and then wake me up before you go-go. It’s an okay song but I just always think of that other song instead.
28. Latch by Disclosure and Sam Smith
    This song feels rigid and keeps going “blah blah”. Something something in MySpace. Or your face. Also I thought of how there’s that beer called Samuel Adams and I saw a parody once where it was Samuel Jackson, but what if there was a Sam Smith beer? Or maybe not a beer, maybe more like some umbrella rainbow drink that contains way more booze than one would think so the drinker gets thrown for a loop or something. Anyway not a fan of this song which is why I started thinking about how I don’t actually drink.
29. Mapsroon 5
    Following following following following following following. Yep this sure is a Maroon 5 Adam Levine type song.
30. Loyal by one or more of the following: Chris Brown, Lil Wayne, French Montana, Too Short, or Tyga (pick at least three)
    There are too many versions of this song and they sound mostly the same at least at the start because Lil Wayne is a feature in all of them. Then the last one is random. A song about how the hoes ain’t loyal while not really being loyal to any one rapper. What if there were 10 billion versions of this song that had clips inserted from every rapper ever. I still wouldn’t want to listen to any of them probably.
31. The Best Day Of American Authors
    It’s kinda like bluegrass rock. It’s a nice song. The video is about partying with the monster inside of the bed. Do you think it’s crazy? Well that’s not fair. Woo hoo woo hoo. Bark bark.
32. Tove Lo’s Habits Stay High
    Ow ow. Eat the bathtub then go to Sex Club. The first rule is don’t talk about Sex Club, sing about it instead. A breakup sorta song about falling into poor choices as a distraction. It’s an all right song.
33. Calvin Harris’s Summer Vacation
    Wenimetuinthesuma DOOT DOOT DOOT DOOT DOOT. Just another EDM track I’m not into. This whole time of the genre was around when I realized how little I actually liked it and was just having it on as background study music since I was in college. I think by this point I’d found a French super techno station with livelier music as well as some kinda lounge music station, which is a genre that sounds kinda like a swinging bachelor pad to put it one way. I do like some songs from this artist, mainly “Acceptable in the 80’s”. “Feels” is also better than this as well, even though it’s kinda meme-y including the random rap section, it’s at least a jam.
34. Boom Boom Clap Pow by Charlixcxcxcxcxc
    Poop, crap, the sound of my farting, it goes nananana Katamari. This is from the soundtrack of one of those Nicolas Sparks or whoever movie book things where everyone dies tragically but it’s beautiful and if you watch it then you go on Tumblr and violently gush about feelings and also SuperWhoLocke and Onceler stuff but oh wait you can’t go on Tumblr now because boobs are illegal there and so is freedom so I guess just go to bed. It’s not my kind of song. And especially not my kind of movie. It’s like some kinda “chicken soup for the soul” thing but I’m more like “what if I want pretzels for the soul” and they come up with this pretzel that’s filled with the souls of the damned and I’m just like “can I get one just filled with cream cheese frosting like they have at Disneyland”. As evil as Disney is just like any other omegacorp, I still kinda want to go back to Disneyland someday. Not Disneyworld, though, that requires going to Florida. By the time I’d get around to going there it’d probably be more like Shrekworld due to that entire state soon enough becoming a swamp. Actually Shrekworld sounds more interesting.
35. Crazy Drunk In Love by Beyoncé and Jay-Z
    This is not the song that goes “uh oh uh oh uh oh uh oh banana”. It’s some slower song. It still has Jay-Z though, who has some weird lyrics like casually referencing a well-known domestic abuse incident and soon following it up with “your breasteses is my breakfast”. What.
36. Anaconda, don’t. Nicki Minaj, also don’t.
    The classic song about butts but remixed to be also about butts. The defining moment of this song is when Drake is being danced at and is bored about it while Nicki Minaj goes off on this rant about colossal fat asses and having one of said asses and saying “fuck those skinny bitches” repeatedly. No, only Pope-approved thicc booty asses the size of the sun are accepted here. Call that a solar ass because that moon’s about to eclipse.
37. Ariana Grande Breaks Free of Zedd except not
    The song gets stuck at the start, then there’s the part where you say “marijuana” because you’re higher than you’ve been before. It’s… a song all right. I guess. Not my favorite by a long shot.
38. Bailando por Enrique Iglesias, Descemer Bueno, y Gente de Zona
    Note how this is different from the song Bailamos by the first artist in the list of names there. It’s a Spanish song. It’s all right. I don’t have much to say about this.
39. Bun by Elie Golding
    It sounds like the song’s going “bun bun bun” when it gets all pitch shifted. It’s an okay techno type song that’s at least more interesting than the usual EDM at this time.
40. Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle by the Wiggles featuring Jason Derulo and Snoop Dogg
    Okay not actually featuring the Wiggles. But what you gonna do with all that ass inside them jeans, or all that breast inside that shirt? Play the flute poorly? Sure, why not. The video description lists Jason Derulo’s hits including “Swalla (Definitely About Ice Cream)”, this song, and “Get Ugly (The Flanders Song)”. An illustrious career.
41. Rather Be A Clean Bandit Than A Dirty Citizen also Jess Glynne is there
    This is some kinda EDM? Quasi-disco? Baby music right at the start with the beep boop Fisher-Price keyboard? It’s a song that was just on the radio at the time and kinda just falls into the background easily. It’s fine.
42. Don’t Tell Jeremih Or YG
    Buzzard on the meat. What if Rhythm Is A Dancer was slower and boringer? Don’t bother telling me about this song I guess.
43. Show Me Kid Ink! (Family Feud board shows a big X and also Chris Brown is there again)
    Buzzing on a bee. Yep, this is whatever song this is and I don’t care. It’s very similar to the previous including the main beep boop synth intro bit.
44. Miley Cyrus CAME IN LIKE A WRECKING BALL
    Yeah this had memes I think. Or at least parodies. I remember there being a Thomas the Tank Engine version that was in a Sonic romhack that turned the hedgehog into a train. At least this song’s memorable for the whole riding a wrecking ball naked thing.
45. Just An Okay Thing by Justin Timberlake
    Yeah, this song’s just okay I guess? I forgot it was a song. And the video is just all these couples being interviewed. To be continued? At this point I feel like that’s just a hanging never-resolved question like the THE END? at the end of monster movies. If they actually remembered to follow this up I’d be surprised.
46. Katy Perry Used Roar! It’s questionably effective if at all?
    When you have the eye of the tiger but not the thrill of the fight I guess. And then go Rooa uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh. There’s a tiger as well but called Kitty Purry instead of Wet Ass Pussy like a much later video would feature.
47. Ain’t It Fun, Paramore?
    The most recent thing I remember this band doing was This Is Why. I found that song neat and looked into other album tracks, and I also remember liking this one. I also remember Hard Times, which apparently David Byrne recently covered. All in all this has been an interesting band.
48. Aloe Blacc is THE MAN
    Now you can tell everybody. This is a number one jam and I feel like I should have heard more number one jams from this artist. And not just ones collaborated with an EDM person. With that raw unfiltered MAN POWER.
49. This Is Not How I Roll In The Slightest by Florida Georgia Man and Luke Bryan
    Out of all the country hitting up the charts there’s been a distinct lack of these particular attempted gangsta country types. Apparently that’s due to a breakup in their band or whatsit. At least it’s just that and not a horrible tragedy so I feel fine saying I’m fine with their current non-presence on the charts. Luke Bryan on the other hand is still putting out tracks so yeah, but at least I don’t have an immediate aversion to that name, due to those songs not being this.
50. Classic MKTO, doing those MKTO things that MKTO is known for, like… this song
    I forgot this song happened but it’s quasi-familiar after a minute. I don’t know that I’d call this a classic at any point because it also feels a bit interchangeable with some other period songs.
51. A Sky Full Of Stars by A Coldplay Full Of Songs
    The video shows the frontman being the entire band as a one-man band. Essentially when someone takes the whole thing about calling someone from a band as that band and making it a thing. And then there’s that other thing like with Maroon 5 or Panic! At The Disco where a band generally becomes just one person after a point so in those cases it’s the same kinda thing. Anyway this song is okay I guess.
52. No, Don’t, Ed Sheeran!
    Actually maybe do. Also the video features some kinda contortionist dancer. From this artist’s history, I’m more of a fan of this style of song that’s a bit more rhythmic and kinda rap-like, and not a slower or sappier type of song like “Thinking Out Loud” or “Lego House” respectively I guess. Speaking of Lego House and not sure if I mentioned this before, but apparently during the time I went to the Mall of America last year, Ed Sheeran was also there at the Lego Store and played “Lego House” of course. I had no idea and thought the reason people were cramming into the Lego Store was because it was a weekend. So that was the trip where I didn’t see Ed Sheeran, which is funny to think about.
53. Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Trey Songz-mari Damacy
    Yep this is a song. I’d rather listen to actual Katamari music. It’s much wackier.
54. Hot (BOY) by Bobby Sh(HUGGING)
    Guess what word “boy” replaces in this title. Also “hugging” I guess, but a different word. Also this is a rap song that is a rap song.
55. Hold On Drake, We’re Going Home To Majid Jordan’s House
    Remember when Drake wasn’t obliterated by Kendrick Lamar? We’ll get to that during this year’s recap I’m certain, given how much airplay that’s gotten. I haven’t been a fan of Drake’s stuff anyway as given previous posts, and this is yet another Drake song that I didn’t really pay much attention to.
56. Sing, Ed Sheeran!
    Yes, do. Another song like “Don’t” that’s groovy and rhythmic and then the video has Muppet Ed and Non-Muppet Pharrell. X was a much better album than an attempt at social media nearly a decade after. For several artists even. Even Chris Brown’s, and I’m not a fan of that album or artist.
57. Imagine Radioactive Dragons
    This seems to be the song that put these imaginary dragons on the magic map. While not the first single from the album from what I’ve seen, this one hit the hardest to my recollection, and it’s a pretty cool song of course. It also ranked pretty high on the previous year-end chart, and got a parody from Weird Al, where the huge gasp at the start was recontextualized as reaching for an inhaler as “Inactive”. And then when the rest of their discography wasn’t like this, it was confusing to a lot of people. And then there were even more singles later on that weren’t like their other things but also sometimes like others, like that “Bones” song that sounds like a Backstreet Boys cover to me. Also that randomly pitch-shifting “Thunder” song. It sure is a range of genres kinda. And now memes with Demons.
58. My (HITTA) by YG and Jeezy and Rich Homie Quan
    Guess what word “hitta” replaces in this title. The hint is it’s the same word as “boy” in a previous song. Likewise this is also a rap-type rap song.
59. Cool Kids in Echosmith
    One of those teenage angst songs I guess. Just wanna be cool even though the definition of cool is incredibly vague. It’s an all right song.
60. Hey Bro, Avicii’s on
    Another song like “Wake Me Up” that takes a song that would probably be fine on its own but instead it’s EDM with a long interlude between verses. This time on the video it’s about a fallen soldier’s funeral. Great place for a rave! The singer on this is Dan Tyminski, and I found a fairly recent upload of a straight up bluegrass version of the song from that singer, alongside a band, that’s pretty great. Though for that version I think it’s effectively more like a cover I guess? Weird recursive situation there.
61. Jason Derulo Brings On The Trumpets
    A wild Jason Derulo appears! Jason Derulo used Trumpets! It’s super annoying! Jason Derulo was cockblocked! Jason Derulo fled! There I just described the video. Another weird song from this artist. Less weird is hearing random instruments whenever around people. Like the spontaneous generation of birds when someone is nearby.
62. Animalsmals by Maroonroon 5
    Animals moles? Animoles? Moles on animals and not specifically those of moles? Anyway if you wanted blood-soaked shirtless Adam Levine there you go.
63. Jason Aldean Burns It Down
    Rap-sounding country-type music. Back when country was struggling to hit it big on the pop charts and attempted to become pop. Now it’s all over the charts and sounds generally like country. The lesson is be yourself but also be a big music star.
64. Luke Bryan, Play It Again
    This one sounds more like country country. Though still not a big fan of this one since it’s kinda sappy.
65. 2 On this track, and they are Tinashe and ScHoOlBoY Q
    Usual kinda girl sings guy raps for a verse thing and it’s seductive or something. Yeah I don’t have much on this one. I even attempt to check the comments on a number of songs I don’t find much to say about in case I missed something obvious while glancing through, and it’s all just “hey who still listening in 202X” and “back when simpler times on the old farm” and “my dog burned down my tractor” and “hot sex porn click on this virus” like usual.
66. Florida Georgia Dirt
    At least this isn’t as attempted gangsta as the other songs. It’s about dirt I guess. And how you should buy it. Or just get buried in it according to the video. Reminds me of a song about looking up but only seeing the dirt the singer is buried in, metaphorically probably, and I kept mishearing it as “turds I’ve buried” instead.
67. LoveRunsOutRepublic
    It’s kind of a jam. This band’s apparently still active but I can’t think of anything I’ve heard if I’ve heard anything from them this year.
68. Bottoms Up by Brantley “Tops Down” Gilbert
    Yeah it’s some kinda country.
69. Nice Shower by Beckyg
    Remember that one app where you could fill in the blanks of some Mad Libs and it would pick some song to attempt to match it? This was before that whole “AI” thing. And I don’t think it really existed outside of this specific time period. Likewise I don’t really remember this song. But if that app still was a thing or maybe it is for all I know, I’d wonder how to get the Mad Libs to produce Halloween Farts.
70. Rixton And Their Broken Hearts About How They’re Now Called Push Baby
    This sounds like a song of the era. Whatever this style is.
71. But… who is… the REAL animals? Martin Garrix?
    Another song of the era. What even is big room house apparently. A genre that is mainly just hype up the drop and then the drop is disappointing. Such as in this song where it sounds like it might go into full dubstep but then it’s just some baby smashing baby fists on a xylophone. Also it turns out it’s man.
72. MY LIFESTYLE DETERMINES MY DEATHSTYLE by Rich Gang and Rich Young Thug and Rich Homie Quan and ideally starring Even Richer Metallica
    What if the electronic drum kit was replaced by the infamous snare drum of St. Anger in all of these rap songs that I otherwise just end up overlooking? And then someone becomes a table. And then a stripper twerks on the table. It was planned all along.
73. Kids In America by Kenny Of Chesney
    YEAH WE’RE AMERICAN KIDS WE GONNA RIDE THE MONSTER TRUCK BUS AND JUMP THE BUS WITH THIS BUS SO IT JUMPS ITSELF THEN MAKE A MONSTER TRUCK TRACTOR CALL IT A MONSTER TRUCKTOR AND IT’S ALSO A BUS BECAUSE WE DUCT TAPED IT
74. Sara Braveilles
    Say what you wanna say until your hair falls out I just wanna see you go bald. Yeah I still hear this song sometimes. It’s one of those inspirational kinda things. Also I’m not a fan of the song really, it’s just there.
75. Sweather Weather by The Neighborheather
    That feeling when it’s so cold so you put on your sweater. Hashtag relatable content. Two house, one mouse, no shirt, yes blouse. It’s an all right song.
76. Turn Off The Night by Spider-Hunt
    Yep. Country.
77. New Flame by Chris “Living Bandana” Brown and “Theater” Usher and Rick “The Pear-Eating Boss” Ross
    I guess that one app is some kinda Beats By Dr. Dre thing. I’m (REVIEWING A BUNCH OF OLD SONGS) with (NOBODY) and I feel like (GOING TO BED) to (SILENCE). But then this came on so I guess the app is broken. I don’t even have the app. And this is a deck of playing cards, not a phone. And this is a song I guess.
78. Never Feels So Good by Not Chuck Mangione
    Here’s one of those posthumous collabs, back when it was still considered cool to be in the relative company of the appointed King of Pop, with the Troll Doll of Pop Justin Timberlake. It’s very much in the style of one of those songs, and the video is all tribute-y while also looking a bit like an iPod commercial with random people doing dance stuff. Or maybe one of those prescription drug commercials for some kinda incontinence pill. Not one that prevents it, one that causes it. Like a laxative but worse. I don’t even know, this somehow degraded to toilet humor. Mainly I don’t know what the exact cycles are with the late artist being considered either “cool” or “biggest monster in history” but I might be able to measure it in release timings of Netflix documentaries.
79. I HAVE HAD IT WITH THESE MONKEY-FIGHTING DRUNKS ON THIS MONDAY-TO-FRIDAY PLANE
    Being obnoxiously drunk on a plane gets people thrown off. If you do it mid-air they might do it mid-air. Also don’t drink and fly, the video is a drunk fantasy and the plane didn’t even leave the ground and instead ran into a conveniently abandoned barn. It was probably on the news.
80. All I Want For My Birthday Is A Big Boobies Katy Perry
    GET IT BECAUSE BALLOONS IS LIKE BOOBS AND YOU WILL SEE ALL THE NAKED BOOBS. RATED R FOR BOOBS.
81. Bartender by Lady A and the A is for Fenomenal and not Anita White
    The country band Lady Single Scream with an ever-disputed name no matter what I guess. This is an all right song at least.
82. La La La La La La La La La La Latamari Lamacy by Naughty Boy and Sam Non-Binary
    A song that’s some kinda sample electronic thing with a singer and the video is about tuning out people yelling by going lalalalalalalala. Interesting enough.
83. Blurred Lines by Robin Thicke Has An Overcompensation For Something That Rhymes In This Video and TI-83 and Pharrell
    Ah yes, this song. Yet another to add to the creepy implications pile, even if the backing track is decent and Pharrell is also there with a colossal hat or something. And then there’s the weird video where the ladies are either naked or not, like Schrodinger’s pussy. Supposedly the nude one is “sexier” but it’s just weird because now they’re just naked and it’s the same video otherwise. Supposedly this nude concept also came about as a counter to the questionable lyrics and something about female empowerment? And of course the controversies don’t stop there, because there was also that infringement thing regarding being too close to a Marvin Gaye song. Which that is a good song, so no wonder the backing track that copied it was decent-sounding.
84. P On Who U Want (& Go 2 Prison) by Some Inmate
    Yeah, things definitely happened with a certain person who was featured on this song, at least the version on this list. Again, there was a Netflix documentary or something involved. I more just remember certain skits in certain comedy shows long before then. However, as far as the song itself, there is a version where Lady Gaga instead collabs with Christina Aguilera, which is still officially available. For that one, it’s an all right synthwave-esque song.
85. I Forgot To Remember This Song Existed Until Now by Shakirhianna
    And then I subsequently remembered seeing a “musicless” version of the video where it’s mainly the two singers slapping and squeaking their butts against the walls. The song itself is all right.
86. I Also Forgot This Song Existed But It’s Not Like I Have Amnesia by 5-Second Summer
    A sappy boy band kinda song I guess.
87. Yes Mediocre by T.Iggy Azalea
    It’s an average of the time rap kinda song about not wanting average sex or something.
88. Kongos With Me Now
    Now here’s a good rock song. I don’t know why I haven’t heard much else from this group.
89. Believe Me, Lil Drake and Wayne
    Yeah. It’s rap. I can believe that at least.
90. 23 Is Number 1, made by Mike Will and Miley “Wrecking Ball” Cyrus and the Wizard of Khalifa and Juicy Fruit
    A rap song with several people including Miley Cyrus in the midst of the whole “wrecking ball” arc. That’s about it.
91. Beaches and Hoes by Jake Owen
    Something about city beaches and country beaches or I don’t know, it’s that whole wanting to make country into rap thing.
92. White Walls by White Rapper and Ryan Lewis and SQHoolboy and Hollis
    It’s a rap song, this time Macklemore is here. I had this song confused with Downtown I think, a song I prefer over this one.
93. She Looks Okay I Guess by 5 Seconds Of How Long I’ll Remember This Song
    Yeah, it’s a song where all the guys are yelling in the microphone together because they’re buddies and the girls of various ages are all like “I don’t know why I like this but I like this” or something.
94. Just Go to Bed by Zedd and Hayley Williams
    I prefer other Paramore songs. This is just more of that popular-at-the-time EDM thing.
95. Beyoncé’s Partition Magic
    Somehow this song isn’t about formatting a drive. It’s more about limousine sex. It’s not exactly the most relatable thing. I was also half expecting Mustard to be on the beat initially.
96. Studio by StUdioboy Q and Do What to Who from Where?
    Hey, maybe if we rap at this woman, she will take her clothes off. That always works, right? I don’t know, it’s a song I guess.
97. 100 to 0 / The Fall Behind by Drake / Drake
    Two songs in one and I don’t really care for either. Yeah.
98. Lee Brice Don’t Dance, Just Pull Up Your Pants, And Do The Rockaway
    A kinda sappy country song that people would possibly rotate in circles romantically to as described in the lyrics. I never got that kind of dancing, it’s just spinning slowly. Spin faster. It’ll be funny.
99. Something Not So Bad by Miranda Lambert and Carrie Underwood
    An all right country song, something to get up to instead of rotate in circles romantically.
100. Adore You by Miley “Not Harry Styles” Cyrus
     Instead of getting friendly with a fish, this features Miley being trapped in bedsheets and also in a bathtub. As was the thing at the time. Yeah. It’s okay I think.

So yeah, that’s a revisit. Not sure how much my opinions changed but I don’t think they did by much on average with some probable exceptions. I feel like I was at least a little more verbose here for a number of them and also it’s not spread across four posts. Some things sure happened with some of the artists though. For now it’s off to more modern music next.

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