Animal Crackers


There’s weird goings on with random slightly obscure but somehow somewhat popular food products, and I don’t mean the usual thing where lettuce has every bacteria ever created. There was that thing with the Necco wafer company going out of business. I haven’t even had those in ages, and apparently one of the flavors was clove. What kind of flavor is clove? Isn’t that a seasoning that goes on ham? And now for some reason the animal cracker company decided to make the animals on the box not in cages and that’s somehow a big deal. Also PETA wants to claim victory for this marketing move as a marketing move of their own. Are the crackers even vegan? Are they free range crackers now?

Also every other brand hasn’t even had cages on their packages anyway, including that one that actually dumps the crackers into frosting so they’re more edible probably. It’s apparently tied to things about the circus, which, if they were trying to push their agenda for animal rights, could have just done the thing where they make the cages more obvious. On the old box, I actually had to look close to see that, yes, they do have bars behind them. But they could put bigger bars in front of them and cram more animals into smaller cages if they really wanted to get some kinda point across, maybe. Something along the lines of sticking an elephant, lion, and humpback whale into a tiny box.

I will say, it’s not just the animal welfare thing behind the decline of the circus and Seaworld, it’s a lot of kids having smartphones and tablets and junk so they just want to play Angry Birds or Fortnite or whatever the hell kids play these days, and watch videos about finger families committing crimes against nature or people doing “challenges” which really just challenge the aspect of Darwinism or whatever else people make too much money for on YouTube with the few that can actually somehow profit on that.

Either way, the company behind the Cow Tales better not do anything crazy or business-threatening because those are actually pretty good and they’re not expensive, either. Just keep it on the lowdown, but not too low because business.