The Internet must be cleaned for ads and babies, apparently?


More and more now every site is cleaning up its image forcibly, and they must conform to a new standard of cleanliness where there’s no swears or nipples, and definitely no porn. I think this is because they now expect to put newborns right in front of the Internet on a tablet, not even a computer, but a tablet. I know it’s a good idea to make sure kids don’t happen upon those “definitely for kids” bootleg cartoons where Deadpool Mickey shoots other Deadpool Mickeys and also Bart and Lisa Simpson start their own family together and go to a strip club on family night, but it’s starting to become a little overbearing.

If they’re thinking this is the way to a utopia where everyone’s moved past material goods and searches into the universe on starships, it’s not quite that. For one thing a lot of this is to appeal to advertisers who don’t want to even look like they’re next to anything even remotely nipple-like. Sure, they also don’t want to be affiliated with really evil ideas about supremacy and such, but in a way dumping bleach onto the Internet’s populace and livelihood is also pretty evil. Soon the “dark web” could just be whatever regular legal porn was before, and the actual current “dark web” with bootleg Bitcoins and murder drugs would become the “darker web”. Deus Ex had a whole thing about making more Internets, they had at least four of them maybe.

It’s also part of how parents don’t want to be parents, instead just dump the baby into some kind of chamber that magically makes the baby smart. There are these weird creepy mind program videos that are just a bunch of black and white and sometimes red shapes making ominous noises and I think it would inflict a bad trip regardless of someone’s intoxication levels. But they’re meant for babies somehow. Ten years from then the baby’s going to be talking like some kind of child with Satanic powers but the only power here is to make anyone who talks to them slowly go crazy with how emotionless they’ve become.

Also it feels like they’re going to dilute rap music into a bunch of incoherent mumbling, like they have been already, but it won’t even be words anymore. It’s barely words now. It’s another step towards just having all music generated automatically and randomly assigned to clones grown in a music studio. And then pizza will be delivered exclusively by Vocaloids.