A Tale of Four Similarly-Named Xboxes


Looks like Microsoft is taking the route of affordability and compatibility for their new system lineup, while for all we know the PS5 is going to cost upwards of 599 US Dollars, unless they really want to undercut the Sexbox. To clarify, the Sexbox is the Xbox Series X. However, there’s now the Xbox Series S, not to be confused with the Xbox One S. Long story short, they’re somehow even worse at naming things, so I’m going to reiterate the names we have: The original Xbone (Xbox One), the XboneS (Xbox One S), the XboneX (Xbox One X), the Sexbox (Xbox Series X), and now I guess the… SexboxS (Xbox Series S)?

I’ll just say this: I’m mostly looking at an Xbone of some kind to play Rare Replay eventually, since it’s pretty unlikely they’ll bring that to PC, and for all I know I’d need a specific Windows 10 machine for it if they did, but I might just put it off for so long that they might do it anyway. The only reason I’m looking at any kind of Sexbox is in case they come out with another thing I might want to play, bringing it to a total of two things. But there is more, I feel like they’re really going to be pushing the Xbox Game Pass so people can just have immediate access to a ton of games for some monthly rate. I don’t think they have much of an exclusive angle to stand on at this point, so going for low cost and maximum library would be a fighting chance against the exclusive-focused Sony.

With that, I could just go down to a place like a pawn shop and pick up an XboneS for well under $200. But I haven’t yet. I’ve just been seeing how things play out here with this upcoming generation that they swear isn’t going to be delayed until next year at least, like what happened to their big former launch title. I’m not going to be getting one of these Sexboxes at launch, either. I can wait until I’ve decided which new type of Xbox I’d want to get to play pretty much one game that’s several games. Anything else I find for cheap on it would be a bonus.

With cost in mind, that’s why I’d go for the XboneS, which also takes into account space, which is pretty limited now, so that’s why I don’t feel like going all the way back to the classic Xbone. I already have a VCR after all. I’m not going for the XboneX since I don’t really see the big point when the Sexbox is on the horizon, and if I want maxed out performance, I could wait for one of those to get well below the launch price of the SexboxS. I won’t be getting the SexboxS itself since it lacks a disc drive, but at least this time the lack of a disc drive version has a bigger price difference, which would make it more appealing to the budget gamer who doesn’t care about physical media. My main point in getting systems with disc drives is being old-fashioned and being a bargain hunter for used games and such. Even so, I consider the yearly sports games to be a big waste of plastic at this point, and prior, and I’d suggest those would go all digital for what little seems to change year over year, though that cuts out the demographic who tends to only play sports games but is in a rural location with a bad connection that might just be viable enough for multiplayer and that’s it, and I feel like that’s a major demographic for sports games. Then again, they keep having patches get even more giant, so anyone within that demographic who’s also trying to play the latest Call of Duty is probably having a problem with that.

Long story short, it’s still way too early to tell what would be the best option to buy a console mostly to play a specific game that has several games in it, some of which summed up to a total would exceed the cost of the Xbox system itself, except that I know I’d want one with a disc drive and fits in the remaining space. It’s a similar situation as to if someone wanted to go play Super Mario Sunshine on its own for the original GameCube versus having a Switch and getting the 3-pack, except someone could likely easily find Rare Replay for cheap, new or used, though the digital price may not follow those same market trends. And also a Switch could go for a hell of a lot during whatever times, thanks to scalpers who buy everything and sell it for 50 times the price because they need a lot of drug money or something. Some might suspect they’re cutting Nintendo in on their profits in some weird operation that sounds very illegal if true.