To be technically human, yet not understand them.


I’ve held a general distaste for humanity since countless years ago. I haven’t been able to get around to writing strongly worded letters to whatever deities are responsible for humans because I’ve yet to determine the specific parties involved in the creation of that species and I’d rather not anger a bunch of unrelated gods that might cause some unrelated alien planet to get obliterated. I wouldn’t give the species a score of zero because there are still many good people, but it would be at least a somewhat low score on average due to the hiveminded selfishness and general destruction of anything and everything and everyone in their way of whatever goals are in mind, including themselves.

Social media is a cesspool, simply put. Even though I haven’t bothered to look up specifically what “cess” is because it’s probably disgusting, but it’s a fitting descriptor if so. My Twitter is run by an RSS bot and I haven’t touched it since, not even to bother deleting it, I’ve long since removed any attempts at Tumblr, I closed my previous YouTube account and reluctantly made another just to store old stream videos because Twitch is incredibly unstable, I deleted a previous Twitch account and soon remade it because it was done out of a bit of reflex, and yet I’m considering deleting that one with more thought behind it this time, and of course I barely ever use Facebook. Social media is designed with a goal to only further the self, with an ultimate goal to fund CEOs like any company.

I don’t care about likes or shares. If you enjoy content, nice. If you don’t, also fine, just don’t be an ass about it. If you want to share something with someone because you find it interesting, I have no issue. If you’re really just after boosting numbers, then make your own content, or at least be creative enough with a remix or addition. I may seem like a madman due to not following societal norms, and not for possibly more legitimate reasons, but I really think social media is a straight gateway to extinction. To open the global communication channels would be a step towards globalization, but it was done incorrectly. There are better paths. Platforms really don’t have to be purely for ego of one and eradication of another.

Under the increasingly burning magnifying glass of social media comes the amplification of any possible slip-up, true or false. If true, that person will be erased completely from the timeline. If false, it will only cause damage to true cases yet to be proven so. It is a lose-lose situation run by losers for losers in any case that there is no truth. It is an ample time with a need for vigilante justice, yet those who are dying are typically innocent while all other cases just boil down to name calling. As much as I’d love to deliver that justice in an appropriate matter, I don’t think that’s my big role in life as my means are limited and could just obstruct any actual path to justice without gathering the evidence. As much as my primal urge to rip the life out of a wrongdoer begs to be satisfied, there would be no end result that would be good for anyone. As much as some buried psychopathic behavior in my mind wants to watch someone die slowly in misery who deserves every second of it, that would only make me as bad or worse if I was to take that outside of the realm of games that can somehow successfully draw out humor from torture. I even wonder about the option of leaving a criminal to a life of torment, if that’s even viable or just another insane path.

If I’m going to be doing anything useful or friendly, I feel like it’s not going to be front and center. To do good by the people who hold the impending magnifying glass is endless work and everything can and will likely eventually go wrong, even if it’s not the fault of the person directly. To be any degree of celebrity is a dangerous position, and it is a lethal profession that will only take more lives. If you wonder about any reluctance to do things like streams or videos, it really comes from my desire to avoid growing too much too quickly, and considering what should be a hobby as a career. Maybe part of that also stems from my natural introvert tendencies. While I’ve figured out ways to be a bit more social, it’s still not the most social compared to the likes of some.

I feel that I do better outside of the spotlight. I’m more of a supporting cast. No, maybe more likely one of those grip people who just does odd tasks to hold something together, but also isn’t doing it alone, and maybe accidentally is briefly in frame or gets brought on as an extra. Maybe a guest cast at most, a guest not really known for much but has been heard of maybe. I’d like to do good by the sense of the public and not their observations. If someone wants to take evil off the pedestal, someone else can lead the charge, maybe I’ll pry out a few nails from the stage to make the hopefully inevitable fall come a bit sooner. If someone wants to lead the community into rebuilding society, I’ll just do whatever it is I do in the role I slot right into as best as I can. If I somehow end up in a somewhat leading role in a cause, I will try to not totally screw it up but I can’t promise the best outcome, just the best I can deliver.

I’ve noticed that so many problems seem to stem from sex. This primal desire that drives people to commit crimes in desperation to satisfy it. It seems to be the source of many, if not most or even nearly all, of the calls to eradicate people from the timeline, at least in the Western world. Hitting on minors and being generally non-consensual are the common ones for people these days, as far as I can tell. For whatever reason it’s usually those two, even combined. Following that it’s infidelity and spreading of STDs, I guess. Things that come up less often because they don’t draw the typical shock appeal for false cases. As far as the true cases, the coverage still tends to match that ramp. If someone’s cheating, it’s usually either just kept as celebrity events or workplace chatter, at least in territories where that’s not a crime. If someone’s feeling in the mood for a violation of someone else not looking for it, that’s certainly heading for a crime. Just as petty theft pales in comparison to holding up a major bank with hostages, but with the spice of sex added, I guess.

I can safely say I’m well on my way to becoming a wizard, as the saying goes, between not actively seeking anyone to pair up with in the first place, even for a one-off, and the eternal plague pretty much discouraging any contact. I wasn’t even looking for dates in high school or even college. I did other experimentation in college that wasn’t sex or even drugs. I have no problem with sex and drugs, it just hasn’t been a pursuit of mine. I’m not sure to what extent a virtual contact encounter applies to this, but I haven’t even been searching for that. I feel like more of a type to be friendly than to pursue gratification of the flesh. In fact I’d go so far as to say if someone was to set up a session between me and a prostitute of some sort, I would have things like conversation and possibly going for a meal at a restaurant somewhere closer to the front of the mind than connecting flesh components as soon as possible. If that session just “devolves” into some kind of game night outing and they get paid by the hour, that would be a lesson to teach the one covering the charge.

I’m not a great person, but I can at least admit that I’m not the worst person, a difficult sentence to say and not sound conceited. I’m trying for at least decent but not going to limit myself to it, and leave the judgment to karma. I don’t want to come off as conceited from being withdrawn, maybe I miss the occasional social cues and regret it afterward, but long story short this post drifted from being about how I don’t like the projected average of humankind to about how I personally don’t feel like I fit in the most and am fine with it. I’m not immune to the selfish traits of humanity even if I feel like I get along better as a robot or lizard or bug or something else exotic. Fortunately that’s more possible in VR, where I feel much more photogenic. I keep bringing up VR just because I’m so excited about that sort of thing, actually being able to check it out because finances worked in my favor so I could get the parts near the end of the time when they could be bought. If possible I’d avoid the whole capitalism thing and bring it to more people, even if that risks bringing in way more people who just want to be annoying at others. It’s been an experience, and an outlet that’s helped over the past few months. Things felt like they moved quite fast so far while hardly moving. I have to mind that so there’s not another pitfall on the horizon.