The “best quality” bootlegs.

2024/11/28

I thought of another stupid idea, fortunately this time it’s not about death and murder, unless the movie involved is. Essentially it’s one of those camcorder bootleg movies, but in the least watchable quality possible, filmed by someone who’s just a really annoying moviegoer even without the hidden camera.

So the bootleg starts 1 minute into the movie because they forgot to hit record but it’s also while they’re stumbling to find their seat. Then you can hear them eating the popcorn and slurping the soda and unwrapping a bag of candy in which every thing inside has a wrapper. They also comment on the movie like “oh man this is my favorite part” or “did you see that guy”. Naturally the microphone picks up everything. Also the camera keeps sliding off so it has to be re-centered a bunch. They even get up to use the restroom but the camera’s still on until they realize when they enter the restroom, and then it jump cuts to later in the movie after they get back because they forgot to resume again. The theater is just filled with children wandering around and the filmer starts yelling at them to shut up.

Generally speaking this would be the worst kind of bootleg to see a movie, but it would capture the moviegoing experience especially well. All that’s left is to spread it on the torrents like a plague. I think I thought of this when I heard about The Rock saying that people who paid for a musical movie at the theater have the right to sing during the parts, and how that might ruin the bootlegger’s plans inadvertently. So I guess this bootleg should also be of a musical and the filmer stands up during one of the climactic numbers and sings obnoxiously.

I was also looking up to see people’s experience with bad quality camcorder bootlegs just to see how bad it got, but I haven’t found a lot of results, probably for people not wanting to incriminate themselves I guess. Or it’s on some “dark web” forums where they also have threads about the best recommended superdrugs and what movies to watch while on those.

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